Today was my first day back at work. No, let’s go back further. Today, I did not wake up in a good mood. I felt sad, inexplicably depressed, resentful, frustrated and so many other things. No explanation. No cause. No reason. I woke up feeling that way. I guess it was just one of those days. But I did manage to drag myself to work, get stuff done, reunited with my friends, caught up with office gossip… and now I’m back home. It feels nice being back here. It feels right to be here.
I’m re-reading Kathleen McGowan’s The Book of Love. My goal is to highlight all the passages that touch me. I was in the first chapter when I came across this.
“… My job as a storyteller is to awaken audiences to the idea of alternate possibilities to one of humanity’s greatest stories. This is why I call it the greatest story never told. And certainly, I believe it to be the truth with all my heart. But let people read it and judge it on its own merits. Let readers decide if it feels like the truth to them.”
The Book of Love
Pages 19 to 20
I fell in love with what she said. I’ve mentioned this in another post, but there is something in The Book of Love that is slowly bringing me back to Christianity. It might not be the most traditional way of finding my way back, but I never asked for that. I left the church when I was sixteen. I walked out its doors and never once looked back. It was a very conscious choice that I made… and I promised myself that it would also be a conscious choice for me if and when I go back. I wanted to find my way back in my own way, at my own time. Again, Life Lesson #30 – “Time heals almost anything. Give time time.”
A part of me is seriously thinking of printing out a copy of the Pater Noster as how it was written in this book and so I can carry it with me wherever I go. 8 years ago, a book changed my life. Maybe the time has come for another one… another book… another change. The last 8 months has been a long journey of self-rediscovery for me. Maybe I’ll get to find my way home to all my families this year.
And maybe next year I’ll find myself.
Holed Up in Our Room in Colorado
Drowning in The Hum of the AC