People Handling in Real Life (004/365)

I wish I could say I know how it would all turn out.

Yesterday I went through my first session – the first one wherein I would actually be graded.  I am terrified of what my scores will be.  While I was running, I knew it was a little heavy, which Day 1 usually is because it’s all about mindset, but I was watching them and they do respond, albeit not as high-energy as the first batch.  When I ready through the comments, though, I zeroed in on two:

  • More humor
  • A more lively discussion

Again, I’m terrified of what my grades will be.  I sent a message to Louie, expressing my concerns – not for anything, but I really, REALLY needed to vent out.  What did Louie do?  He called me up and processed my session.  I do appreciate little things like that – and now, I think, more than ever.  I knew that I had to be really high energy for the remaining days, just to make sure that the heaviness of Day 1 gets to be balanced out.  It was a good thing Jenn understood and so the split of Days 2 and 3 were changed to give me more floor time for not-so-heavy topics.

This particular group is more cerebral – more interested in content, with more questions.  I think that was why I also had the tendency to really dwell on topics and answer the questions as in-depth as possible.  And what did that result to?  To me needing to have more humor.  My. God.  There was a time I would have said I was resigned to this – that I will always be more substance than form – but now I know that balance has to be found; that I cannot be just good at one, but at both.  And does it worry me?  Yes.  In fact, this worried me so much that I failed to see the other comments that said it was a good discussion, that day 1 was very informative, that I was a good speaker.  Reading “more humor” and “a more lively discussion” just erased everything else.

Louie, being as concerned as he was about the SMS he received from me, had to ask, “So, how many people said that in the ACQ?”  Then my voice got really soft and I slowly said, “Dalawa.”  Quickly, I followed it up with, “Did you get the impression it was all of them?”

So I’m a drama queen… but you already knew that, right?


Blessed Be…

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