Where Have You Been… I’ve Been Waiting For You All My Life (23/365)

Those were Blaine’s words in the latest episode of Glee.  Can you tell I’m such a fan?  That one moment when Blaine finally realizes his feelings for Kurt was going beyond the borders of friendship… Then he leans over and kisses him on the lips.  In all honesty, I didn’t know if I wanted to continue watching because it such a “kilig” moment or if I wanted to look away.  Again, nothing against the whole male-male thing.  My best friend is gay and I love him to bits, but still I don’t think I want to bear witness to two guys making out.  In fact, I don’t want to bear witness to two anyones making out.


It’s not even 7:30 am on a Friday and I already feel out of sorts.  I’m stressing out so much about Monday’s run that I’ve dreamt about people from the office last night.  My stomach is tied up in knots and I woke up several times during the night, having anxiety attacks.  I hate this.  I feel so pressured and I can feel myself starting to crack.  And, with the looks of my schedule, I won’t even have time to destress this weekend.  All that plus the fact that Brian and I are on not-so-good terms right now.  Mr. Murphy, won’t you please go away?

So I’m trying to hold on to things that’ll help me keep my sanity… and, right now, I’m just praying that I hold it together until I leave Tektite.  I’m very, very good at compartmentalizing and generally I deal with stress pretty well, but this week… It’s been unbelievable.

I have to go now, but I’ll leave you with the words to “Hold Me Now”.

You know those things that keep me sane?  This is one of them.


From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul

Oh, foot of Christ, would you wait if her harlotry’s known?

Falls a tear to darken the dirt

Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt

She is strong enough to stand in your love

I can hear her say

I am weak

I am poor

I am broken, Lord, but I’m yours

Hold me now

Hold me now

Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will

To say that my bride isn’t worth half the blood that I’ve spilled

Point your finger and laugh if you choose to say

My beloved is borrowed and used

She is strong enough to stand in my love

I can hear her say


I am weak

I am poor

I am broken, Lord, but I’m yours

Hold me now

Hold me now


Hold Me Now

Jennifer Knapp


Another thing you should know about me… I am faithful, not religious.  I don’t go to church.  I believe in a God, but maybe not the one the Roman Catholic Church believes in.  The Church, among so many other things, were one of those that broke me.

But this song… Let me put it this way – I’m not a fan.  I haven’t worshipped for a very, very long time.  But this song, it breaks my heart every time.  And then it gives me hope.

Blessed Be…


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Filed under iWatch, Jei Pod, Secret Life of Bees, This So-Called Life

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