If you’re wondering why I watched Monte Carlo, it was wasn’t because of Selena Gomez. I’m vaguely familiar with her – I tried watching Wizards of Waverly Place on the Disney Channel but couldn’t really get into it. I was interested in the fact that Leighton Meester was part of the cast. I love her as Blair in Gossip Girl and couldn’t wait to see her on the big screen. Plus, it’s a teenybopper movie and I’ve always been a sucker for those.
I’m not going to go into the details (if that’s what you’re looking for, stop reading right now!). What I am going to get into is this: There are essentially three stories in the film – all of which resonate with me at one point or another:
On Finding Love in the Strangest Places and Doing Things You Never Thought You Would
I will the first to admit that Brian and I do not have a fairy tale relationship. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. There are times when he pisses me off to the point that I storm off – and he totally doesn’t get why I got mad so he gets irritated because I was, in his words, “nagdadabog”. This is probably the most difficult relationship I’ve been in because everything is just so real – we have money problems and decision problems and where-do-we-go-from-here problems. You know I have a couple of friends who are going through rough patches in their respective personal lives due to one reason or another and I can’t help but feel bad for them. I mean, when it’s about love, no one really expects it to be easy… But it’s also not supposed to be that hard. One thing that I did realize, however, was that no matter how shitty things got between Brian and me, at the end of the day, I still want to go home to him. At the end of it all, he’s the only one I really want to be with.
Was this everything I ever hoped it would be? No. But it isn’t all bad – there were a lot more good surprises I found along the way. The secret, I think, is just looking hard enough and knowing when you’ve found it.
On Walking Away from What You Have Only to Find Out You’re Going to Walk Back to It
I did this back in January. I still honestly believe that we are in a better place now. More importantly, I am in a better place now. Almost eleven months ago, it was my choice to leave. In the end, it was also my choice to come back. No regrets 🙂
On Thinking You’re Not Good Enough and Wishing You Could Be Someone Else
Seriously, who doesn’t go through this? One thing I’s like to say on the matter is that these moments, for me, have been decreasing in number. Yes, there are still days when I feel like a complete failure… But at least now I don’t think about offing myself (I told you I should be seeing a therapist). That, in my opinion, is a breakthrough.
Something I read very recently said, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
Anyhoo, now I shall go back to watching my TV shows – The Good Wife and Once Upon a Time are finally done.
Until next time…