This post is about The Three Musketeers. For those of you who are wondering what Alexander Dumas has to do with anything… It’s because he wrote it. The book, I mean. Glad that’s settled.
Very recently, another remake of the The Three Musketeers (the movie) was released. I had the best time watching with my cousins and my nieces. The fact that it was a period film based on a book did not do any harm. The fact that Logan Lerman was in it… Now that was just gravy.
(On a side note, I recently put up a Page with nice little factoids about myself. Number 3 says that I was head over heels over Percy Jackson. I realized this as I was finishing Son of Neptune. The fact that he has Logan Lerman’s face… Again, that was just gravy.)
One of my other nieces warned us that it wasn’t a great movie… And I actually thought so, too. I saw the trailer. The movie put in a flying boat in medieval France, for Goddess’ sake. I could feel my synapses firing in indignation. But in the end, it was a pleasant surprise.
There were, however, several first impressions that I must write about.
Things I First Thought of When I Saw…
- Athos – Darth Vader (you can ask Cholo. He and I reacted the same way at the exact same time)
- Aramis – Prince of Persia… and then Batman
- Porthos – Sinbad (as in the actor)
- D’Artagnan – “The hair’s gotta go!”… “Why doesn’t he tie his hair?”… Percy Jackson with long hair
- Milady – Resident Evil
- Cardinal Richelieu – John Malkovich
- King Louix XIII – gay
- Queen Anne of Austria – poodle
- Buckingham – bigger poodle (I actually forgot that it was Orlando Bloom because his hair kept getting in the way)
Despite this movie having a gigantic flying boat in France during the 1500s, it wasn’t as unfaithful as I expected it to be. I was a big fan of the 1993 remake (think Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt and Chris O’Donnell… or Sting, Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams) and, hands down, that movie was better. It had so much more substance, more logic, more drama. It was a grown up’s movie. This one was obviously catering to a very different audience.
The movie, however, did lead to other things – most importantly, it led me to The Man in the Iron Mask (1998 film starring Leonardi di Caprio). I just finished the movie and it was a film that I regret not having watched earlier.
(And, by the way, there are a couple of things I want to clear up. (1) Queen Anne in the Musketeers movie was Anne of Austria. Her name was not a shorter version of Marie Antoinette – the latter was married to Louix VI. (2) D’Artangan, in the Man in the Iron Mask was not the son of Athos. D’Artangan was his best friend. Athos’ son’s name was Raoul. If you think I am talking about you, then you’re probably right. 🙂 )
The film was obviously set years in the future – Aramis is totally serious about being a priest, Athos has a son, D’Artagnan is the head of the King’s guards (still called the musketeers) and Porthos has kidney stones. The King – now Louix IV – is a total ass… And this is exactly what the movie wants you to think. It becomes the perfect stage for the King’s twin brother Philippe to be seen in a more positive light. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what the plot is and how the movie ends. But, as what they always say, it’s the journey that counts, not just the destination.
There are a few surprises (like how D’Artagnan had apparently fallen for Queen Anne somewhere along the way) that adds to the story, not takes away from it. If there was one thing that I did not see coming, however, it was that D’Artagnan does not come out of the movie alive. It was the perfect twist to what could have been a fairytale, 100% feel-good, but cheesy ending. So I wouldn’t have wanted the movie to have ended any other way.
Oh, and I cried over D’Artagnan’s death scene. But you know that already.