05 in ’12: Thoughts

pro·lif·ic /prəˈlifik/

  • (of a plant, animal, or person) Producing much fruit or foliage or many offspring.
  • (of an artist, author, or composer) Producing many works.

I was recently described as prolific. What brought this about? I think sharing a part of a letter I wrote yesterday would make things a bit clearer…

* * *

“…But at the end of the day, it couldn’t just all be because of him, right? We were all part of it too, regardless of how much time we actually spent standing up in front of the room and talking. I’m seriously wondering if there is something fundamentally wrong with how we do things. It’s been 2 in a row and, to be honest, a little unnerving…

…The strangest thing – for me, anyway, is that I don’t feel anything right now. I mean, yes, I feel bad about the grade, but it wasn’t like when <insert name of org here> happened. That time I couldn’t let it go and I felt like everything was my fault. This time, I think I was a little more forgiving of myself. Or maybe I’m in denial and it’ll all catch up with me in the end.

But thank you for always believing that I could do it.


* * *

And the universe said unto me…

An old soul is not an old soul by virtue of age, Angelique, but for their patience, self-measure, and happy tears for no apparent reason.

The Universe

Maybe the reason we cry happy tears for no reason is because somewhere along the way, we’ve finally learned how to forgive ourselves.

Even for just a little bit.

Ciao Bella!


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Filed under ET-mology, This So-Called Life

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