53 in ’12: V is for Vengeance – A Sorta Fairytale, Day 5

I Was The Best You’ll Never Have

*          *          *

April 28, 2012

12:04 am
HIM:
i hope those skills can be consumed for me from a cold and (word undisclosed) baby of mine.. =p

Me:
Oh I’ll make sure I’ll always have enough social skills for you, baby :

HIM:
promise?

12:26 am
Me:
I promise sweetheart

HIM:
can i see u on d weekend?

Me:
Sunday evening?

Me:
Assuming that She and I actually separate before the weekend ends

HIM:
that will be nice.. any ideas?

Me:
Hmm… Not really. What do you want to do?

HIM:
u mean baka hindi matuloy?

Me:
u mean baka hindi matuloy? – is this because of the message about She and I not separating? Sorry, nalost lang ako bigla.

HIM:
yep

Me:
Baka kasi magtulad nung last week – from Somerset, we went straight to powerplant. So naghiwalay kami around 11 pm sunday night.

HIM:
e di kahit madaling araw pa kayo maghiwalay.. haha

Me:
Ahaha… Goodluck naman sa akin nun. Hassle kasi – I have work on Monday and then I go back on holiday on Tuesday.

HIM:
oo nga no.. di ka pede magpuyat.. =(

Me:
Well, not super late and not often. Last week I was with Eloi and didn’t get home until 2 am. 10 am na ako nakapasok the next day. Haha

HIM:
what is ur idea for us?

Me:
Hmm… I don’t know… Probably just hang out and talk. What do you want to do?

HIM:
hang out and talk baby.. tell me whatever u wanna do.. i want u to be comfortable and happy..

1:48 am
HIM:
baby, tulog ka na?

7:16 am
Good morning, baby🙂

HIM:
good morning baby.. preppin’ to travel?

Me:
Homaygad! I just woke up and session starts at 9! :p

I’ve been semi-packed since yesterday, so little things nalang ngayon. Magkakasakit ata ako.

How’s work?

7:33 am
HIM:
it’s fine.. petiks.. may session ka pa today?

Me:
Yup. 4 hours pa. Or at least that’s what it says in the contract. Pero we’ll probably end it by 10:30 or 11. Sana talaga maabutan ko ang 1:15 bus to manila

HIM:
gabi ka na pala dadating dito..

7:53 am
Me:
Around 7 siguro. Why?

HIM:
just curious.. =D

Me:
;p

HIM:
i wud meet u tonight and spend time w u.. kaya lang di pede e

Me:
You’d that?🙂

HIM:
yeah baby.. kaya lang may lakad ka eh.. i’d wanna spend the weekend w u..

8:15 am
Me:
I’d want to spend time with you too, baby, but I can’t flake out on my friends. But we’ll find time.

8:33 am
HIM:
ok babe.. quality time? =D

Me:
Yes, baby, quality time🙂

HIM:
i’d like that.. =D
Kiss*

Me:
🙂

8:50 am
HIM:
gano kayo katagal ng friends mo magkasama?

Me:
What do you mean?

HIM:
i mean from tonight magkakasama na kayo diba? until what time kayo magba-bonding?

Me:
Usually 3 or 4 in the morning :p

HIM:
oh.. and ur plans after that?

9:03 am
Me:
I go home na🙂

HIM:
hmm.. and?

Me:
And… I’ll go to sleep na🙂

HIM:
ooh.. hehe.. the?

HIM:
ooh.. hehe.. then?

9:15 am
Me:
And then… I don’t know :))

HIM:
chos.. di nga

9:40 am
HIM:
busy baby?

Me:
Sorry, baby… Lam mo naman resident dance instructor🙂 But I’m done na.

Still in the office?

HIM:
yes baby.. im bored..

Me:
Why naman?

HIM:
i dont have anything to do.. and i miss you..

Me:
Can’t you go home yet?

10:00 am
HIM:
pauwi na rin.. siguro if u were here i’ll spend time w u

Me:
Haven’t you ever considered that I might not live up to that picture you have of me in your head?

HIM:
isn’t that the same thing w me? i may not even be able to live up w ur impression of me now..

Me:
You didn’t answer my question😛

HIM:
that means i considered that baby..

Me:
Hmm…🙂

HIM:
do u think u wud disappoint me?

10:15 am
Me:
Honestly, I don’t know. I hope I don’t, but it’s always a possibility. I’m not exactly the easiest person to be with.

HIM:
it’s d same thing w me baby.. im not all good.. u’r probably better than me in this kinds of things.. being sweet an close w another soul..

Me:
I’m so damaged in my own way, baby

HIM:
haven’t u considered that we might just end up hurting?

10:30 am
Me:
I’ve considered it

HIM:
i know u have..

Me:
Have you?

HIM:
i have.. reason why im asking for quality time..

Me:
I will make time for you, you know… I can’t promise that it’ll be a lot because I’m running out of time in so many ways, but it’s still what we do with it that matters, I guess

HIM:
we still need to get to know each other baby

Me:
I know that

HIM:
that’s good..

Me:
You still bored? :p

HIM:
not anymore baby.. however, i feel bad that we’re not hugging now..

10:47 am
Me:
I know how you feel..

HIM:
i wanna kiss u.. ok lng ba? sa txt lang naman malakas ang loob ko eh..

Me:
As me again when I’m with you

HIM:
kailan?

Me:
Just not tonight, baby

HIM:
i know that =D

Me:
:p

HIM:
do u think u wud wanna kiss me? =p

Me:
I’m not telling you that over text🙂

HIM:
aww.. busted.. =p

Me:
Ahahaha

HIM:
what is my baby doin now?

11:00 am
Me:
Burning cd manuals for the participants🙂 we’re about to end eh. (next statement undisclosed)

HIM:
oh.. i know the picture.. =D

Me:
Ahahaha… I mean, I love what I do, but when we do these things and people start crying, I end up crying din. Lol

HIM:
haha.. tlg.. effective ah

Me:
Lol. Iyakin nga kasi ako eh

HIM:
im thinking if get to see that..

Me:
Na umiyak ako?

HIM:
yep..

Me:
Wait, can you access you tube right now?

HIM:
nope.. prolly later at home

Me:
Okay. Let me know when you have access. I’ll make you look for something.

And about the crying thing, it’s impossible not see me cry – if you watch me read a book, I’ll eventually cry over it too :p

HIM:
baka naman kuwentuhan lng kita maiyak ka na..

11:18 am
Me:
Ahahahaha… Hindi malayo

11:33 am
Me:
Hi baby🙂 Whatcha doin?

HIM:
im on my way home babe.. u? done w the training?

Me:
Almost… Commencement exercises na.

HIM:
wat do u train?

Me:
Everything from leadership to advanced supervision to Work Attitude and Values Enhancement to Personal Enhancement to Change Management to Teambuilding.

And very recently, Problem Solving and Decision Making. pero once ko palang nagagawa yun.

HIM:
what’s all the dancing abt?

Me:
It’s a teambuilding. Some of the activities involve dancing kasi

11:47 am
HIM:
that’s cool.. =D

Me:
E I’m (description undisclosed) and I dance so madalas I get to do the whole Teach and Learn thing.

HIM:
will i see that too? =D

Me:
Haha… Nooooo!

HIM:
aww baby.. why?

12:02 pm
Me:
Aahaha… Wala lang. Kakahiya :p

HIM:
baby promise ko sau pag nagkita tayo mawawala lahat ng hiya mo sakin

Me:
Lol! Shet, natawa talaga ako dun!

Baby, we’re done! And we passed!

HIM:
yehey! gujab baby! =D

12:20 pm
HIM:
im ready for ur utube dear

Me:
Look for “wear sunscreen” and then choose the one with english subtitles.

HIM:
bakit ka natawa baby?

Me:
Dun sa sinabi mo na pag nagkita tayo mawawala lahat ng hiya ko sayo. Lol

HIM:
bakit baby?

12:31 pm
Me:
Wala. Natawa lang talga ako. Bawal???

HIM:
ha? girlie nanaman?

Me:
Hindi girlie yun! Natawala lang talaga ako. As in spontaneously natawa lang ako.

At hindi bawal maging girly paminsan-minsan at girl pa din naman ako. Mejo unusual lang nga.

HIM:
bakit ayaw sabihin saken?

Me:
Hindi sa ayaw ko sabihin sayo noh. Wala talagang reason. Natawa lang talaga ako. :))

HIM:
baby u’r lying.. oh well..

Me:
I am not lying!!!

HIM:
ok.. bakit ba kasi ayaw mo ipakia sakin yung sayaw?

Me:
Because it’s embarrassing! Haha… And if there’s music naman anywhere we go, I begin dancing naman – hindi lang nga choreographed

HIM:
well then if u dont wanna show it to me then teach it so i can do it for myself so i can watch me do it.. ok

12:46 pm
Me:
Hahaha… Do you dance ba?

HIM:
if i get taught i do.. not easy.. embarassing actually

Me:
Weh

HIM:
yeah.. pagnagkita tayo aalisin ko lahat ng hiya ko sayo at sasayaw ako kung tuturuan mo ako..

Me:
Sige🙂

HIM:
cool.. i told u aalisin ko lahat ng hiya mo at papasayawin kita.. one way or another.. =D

Me:
Lol. Sige lang🙂

HIM:
kiss me baby.. when we meet..

Me:
Tell me again when we meet

1:01 pm
Me:
Baby, don’t you want to sleep and rest?

HIM:
baka sapak maabot ko.. scary..

HIM:
sige na.. i wont disturb u anymore.. have fun baby

Me:
Baby, you’re not disturbing me. I love texting with you… But I don’t want to keep you from sleeping🙂

HIM:
u’r not keeping me from sleep hin.. u me feel peaceful.. until i fall asleep

Me:
I’m glad you feel peaceful, baby, not matter how kulit I am

HIM:
bka nga ikaw na ang nakukulitan sa akin e

Me:
Anu bug. Di noh😉

HIM:
biyahe k n?

Me:
Di pa. Our clients decided to leave at 2 pm instead of 4, so sasabay na ako. I’ll be picked up sa Valenzuela City hall then be brought to RW.

I’m just lounging around sa room. I’m all packed na eh.

HIM:
Nice.. that’s good..

1:16 pm
Me:
Ayaw ko kasi na nagmamadali na last minute nagrempake. So usually I’m packed the night before. I’m that OC

HIM:
i find that cool..

Me:
Kahit sa (previous company’s name undisclosed) pa naman ako, I was OC na. And it helps naman talaga – kaya lang sometimes I border on paranoia, especially before session.

HIM:
but u functioned well

Me:
Well, I’ve learned how to deal with it – and I don’t expect people to be like me, so hindi ako nafufrustrate.

HIM:
ain’t that the key to it darlin’? cool..

Me:
And yet so many people haven’t figured it out yet :p

HIM:
it’s difficult to figure out baby

Me:
No it’s not ;p

1:31 pm
HIM:
i hope so..

Me:
:p

HIM:
why’d u show me that video baby?

Me:
Cause I really like it… And I guess I just wanted to share it with you.

HIM:
thank you for sharing it with me.. =D

Me:
You’re welcome baby🙂

HIM:
i thought i said ‘sharing it to me’ so i checked, and i’m glad i got it right.. hehe

Me:
Grammar conscious?

HIM:
no.. ’cause of you’ conscious..

Me:
Whaaat?🙂

HIM:
why baby? u make me wanna be good

Me:
I’m glad🙂

HIM:
i wanna see u baby..

Me:
Soon, sweetheart

1:50 pm
HIM:
it’s almost 2 baby.. u’r on ur way..

Me:
I know! I’m in the bus na, waiting. So excited to go home.

HIM:
i can imagine.. =D

Me:
Haha… Really now. Whatcha doin baby?

HIM:
just layin down baby.. imaginin ur face

Me:
Hmm..🙂

2:02 pm
Me:
I wish I was with you, baby..

HIM:
and if?

Me:
I’d just want your arms around me

HIM:
i’d like that.. that will be more than comfortable..

Me:
🙂

6:29 pm
Me:
Hi Baby! We just left the second stop over. 2 hours to go… Ang sakit na ng likod ko😥

HIM:
aww baby.. how can u party like that later?

Me:
Asus! I wouldn’t know ho to party to save my life. Nakatulog ka na ba?

HIM:
yep.. im going to a concert dedicated to one agent of ours who just died of the big c

Me:
Oh my god. Cancer? Really?

Parang hanggang 2 katext pa kita ah. Wala ka nanamang tulog.

HIM:
it’s ok baby.. wala naman akong mahalagang pupuntahan.. i can just bum after..

Me:
Where’s the concert being held?

6:49 pm
HIM:
sa malapit sa PICC.. di ko alam puntahan e.. hehe.. it’s not a concert concert… it’s a collaboration of bands that we know sa isang bar doon

Me:
Ahhhh (hindi ko rin alam ang place)… Was the agent still young?

HIM:
no hun.. 40plus na siya..

Me:
But still… 40 isn’t so old… I mean, you’ll be 40 in a couple of years, right? ;p

7:00 pm
HIM:
yeah hun.. about 7yrs.. i will still be partying around that time.. playing table tennis.. dancing.. hehe

Me:
Lol!

HIM:
haha.. why?

Me:
Anung why?

HIM:
tinatawanan mo ako e.. =p

Me:
Haha… Images in my head… Partying at 40 (which isn’t really so strange considering my family still believes in partying at 60)

HIM:
see? we’v known each other for 7 yrs.. what do u want think after 7more?

Me:
7 years na ba?

HIM:
on june baby it would have been

Me:
I can’t believe you remember that!

HIM:
of course baby..

Me:
And who would have thought after 7 years I would be texting you like this?

7:15 pm
HIM:
i would.. but ive been wrong for more than 6yrs

Me:
Sabi ko nga eh🙂 Well, better late than never..

HIM:
why is it late baby?

Me:
Okay, wrong saying :p

I do remember the first time I met you, y’know

HIM:
oh yeah.. what do you remember abt it?

Me:
You weren’t supposed to be part of my class, so I had no idea why you were there.

And I was writing your names on the whiteboard and I asked if yours was spelled with a c or a ch. And you said, “k, double f”. I seriously wanted to throw an eraser at your head. Lol.

HIM:
haha.. baket?

Me:
Dude, the dating lang. Sooo… Presko. I can’t describe it any other way. Lol.

7:32 pm
HIM:
baby i dunno if u already know that i dont mean to act like that

Me:
Baby, I know that. But I have to admit it happened within the last three days or so.

HIM:
again because i know i laugh at those kinds of ‘kapreskohan’ because it’s abnoxious.. and i was trying to be abnoxious.. not presko!

Me:
Abnoxious?

HIM:
yeah.. i see exactly why u want to throw erasers to those kinds of peeps.. but i do it to make fun of those kinds of peeps.. unfortunately i think i do it because im those kinds of peeps

Me:
So you admit that your obnoxious?

HIM:
trying to make fun of myself by being it.. yeah

Me:
Okay…🙂

HIM:
maybe it’s me being weird thinking that people will understand.. and i never learn that they don’t

7:46 pm
Me:
They do. It just takes a little time.

Me:
Sorry😦

HIM:
i always made fun of cocky pricks babe.. i dont get offended by them..

HIM:
nyerkz.. baket?

Me:
I wasn’t sure if I crossed a line or not

HIM:
u did not baby.. people always saw me that way, but only very few get to really understand.. ung mga malas na nakaka’malas’.. hehe

Me:
Sabi ko nga. For what it’s worth, baby, you are worth getting to know.

HIM:
haha.. weh.. di ako sanay w those coming from u.. =D

Me:
Haha… Bakit naman?

HIM:
lagi mo kaya akong inaapi.. haha..

Me:
So hindi ka sanay when I’m nice?

HIM:
yep.. not in a bad way.. =D

Me:
Hahaha… I’m really not nice, baby. But I am honest.

HIM:
good enough..

8:00 pm
Me:
🙂

Me:
You on your way to the concert na?

HIM:
nakakatamad magshower.. nakahiga lang ako..

Me:
Ahahaha… What time
Are you supposed to be there ba?

HIM:
sabi nila 7.. but i doubt it.. i planned 9.. baka 10nalang..

Me:
Tamad🙂

HIM:
oh yeah.. proud of it..

Me:
Good for you! :p

HIM:
r we gonna meet tomorrow?

Me:
Sige. Evening. Decide where we’re going ha.

HIM:
not if u cant baby

Me:
What?

HIM:
baka naman kasi wala ka talagang time.. sabi mo kasi u’r always running out of time in a lot of ways

Me:
I am. And that’s a long story. But tomorrow’s good. Unless you don’t want to.

8:15 am
HIM:
i want to baby.. how much time will u have for us?

Me:
Tomorrow?

HIM:
yeah baby..

Me:
A little after midnight

HIM:
from what tym baby?

Me:
Mid to late afternoon?

HIM:
that’s half a day..

Me:
Too much?

HIM:
i like it baby.. kung pede nga lang buong weekend e.. kaya lang wala naman tayong bahay..

Me:
Haha… Oo nga

8:31 pm
HIM:
san kita susunduin?

Me:
Are you commuting?

HIM:
not sure yet.. im not commuting tonight.. but im thinking they might need the car tomorrow..

Me:
If you don’t have a car, I cam meet you nalang somewhere. Where’s convenient for you? Makakadating naman ako as far as makati without getting lost :p

HIM:
ok then.. what do u wanna do in 12hrs?

Me:
You decide.

HIM:
baby, im the guy.. it’s not about me.. ok.. i’ll change the question.. how do u wanna spend ur day? masipag ka ba? tamad ka ba? nerd ka ba? talker ka ba?

8:46 pm
Me:
Okay… I want to spend the day hanging out… No, I’m not very masipag, but I don’t mind walking… I am a talker and I’m a geek.

HIM:
im not good at dates.. but i’ll think about where to go.. =D

Me:
Oh, and I don’t like people, so I can’t stand crowded places for a long time.

HIM:
i dont like people too.. i only like you..

Me:
Very kewl.

I hate deciding where to go – unless there’s somewhere I really want to go to or something I really want to do – and I’ve been deciding for so many years and I don’t want to do that tomorrow.

HIM:
what is that?

Me:
What?

HIM:
oh gotcha.. u wanna decide.. alright..

HIM:
i’ll lead the way then

Me:
Very kewl🙂

HIM:
u wanna watch a movie?

Me:
Sure🙂 What’s showing ba?

HIM:
avengers.. gusto sana kitang yayain dun after 2 weeks.. like i said, i hate crowd.. and for sure, booked na rin ang seats today..

Me:
We can watch it when it’s not so popular anymore.

HIM:
or we can watch it here sa bahay.. haha.. hula ko kasi bitin lang un dahil sa dami ng characters, di naman kayang i highlight silang lahat sa short movie.. sorry ang gulo ko naman kausap.. di tlg ako magaling sa dates e

9:07 pm
Me:
Haha… It’s okay, baby. I’m sure we’ll have a good time.

Gusto ko namang mapanuod ang Avengers sa theatre noh. Willing to wait naman ako.

HIM:
ok.. prolly other movies tomorrow, or maybe something else to do..

Me:
Sige. Di na ako updated sa films.

HIM:
nakakahiya man, my best idea about spending time is doing it at home.. no crowd.. u can talk.. and since im lazy, u can relax.. see a movie.. eat whaever u want.. kaya lang crowded dito tomorrow e.. coffee house is serene.. but u dont wanna sit there for 12 hrs.. =D

HIM:
uy may showing.. the lucky one.. let’s do that.. =D

Me:
I can sit in a place for about 4 to 5 hours before needing to walk around, as long as the conversation’s good.

Oh yeah. That’s supposed to be good. AND if I start crying, you are not allowed to make fun of me. :p

HIM:
i know that baby.. i’ll hold you..

Me:
I’d like that🙂

HIM:
baby.. If u remember, i got ADHD.. i cant stay in a coffee house as long as u can.. id definitely bring the good conversation some place else after a while..

Me:
Hahaha… That’s fine – we’ll do the venue hopping thing

Me:
Hey baby, I’m in Resorts World na. Are you still going to your concert thing?

9:30 pm
HIM:
im doubting it..

HIM:
sige na baby i wont disturb u.. kiss*

Me:
Haha… It’s okay baby… Text ka lang if you want

HIM:
it’s alright baby.. have fun.. u with she and peehpoe right?

Me:
Yup🙂 I just gotta freshen up and get money. And have dinner.

You still just in bed?

HIM:
yep

Me:
Hindi ka ba hahanapin dun sa concert thing?

HIM:
im not sure.. i asked my TMs.. parang wala naman sakanila pupunta.. i will just get bored..

9:45 pm
Me:
Rest nalang, baby. Magbaei ka nalang muna ng tulog

HIM:
id rather drive to you, kiss you, then drive back home

Me:
You realize that I can’t stop smiling right now, right?

HIM:
not really.. but i realize how good it might be to kiss you while u smile..

Me:
🙂

HIM:
i really wanna

Me:
Maybe tomorrow you’ll find out. MAYBE. :p

HIM:
maybe..

Me:
Ayaw mo?

HIM:
gusto kaya..

Me:
Haha…

HIM:
kaw kaya jan may ayaw

10:01 pm
Me:
Haha… Sabi ko maybe🙂

HIM:
o e di ayaw..

Me:
Ewan ko sayo :p

HIM:
u said u’r just honest..

Me:
I am. Kaya nga sabi ko maybe. Meaning it’s possible.

HIM:
it’s possible for u to wanna kiss?

Me:
Kiss you?

HIM:
in effect, yes, me

Me:
And yes, it’s possible

10:19 pm
HIM:
that thought alone is nice..

Me:
🙂 Whatcha doin?

10:31 pm
HIM:
Chatting in FB baby.. u?

Me:
About to eat palang

HIM:
u w ur friends now?

Me:
Yup🙂

HIM:
alright then

Me:
Enjoy your night, baby. And try to get some rest, okay?

HIM:
have fun.. =D

11:10 pm
Me:
I’m so sleepy naaaaa…

HIM:
wat tym nio balak matulog?

Me:
Naku, hindi ko alam…

HIM:
wat r u guys doing?

Me:
Hanging out lang. Peehpoe’s still eating.

11:32 pm
HIM:
magca-casino ba kayo?

Me:
Nope. Tambay lang talaga ‘to. Ready na nga ang biogesic ko eh.

11:51 pm
HIM:
san kayo nakatambay?

Me:
Mr. Kurusawa in Resorts World

*          *          *

I’m starting to realize that different days will make make me feel different things. Yesterday’s entry made me feel sad. This one made me feel happy. One thing, however, that remained the same is that there are times when I find myself still missing you. And, once again, I’m reminded of why I need to remember.

There was a time, old man, when you didn’t have to tell me how much you wanted to be with me because I could feel it with every message you sent.

But these are just words. And although there was a time when your words meant something to me… Now it means nothing.

And (original name stricken out), honey, this and the thousand paper cuts are for you too.  You added me in (social network undisclosed).  Did you know about me?  Because you should definitely know about this.

Karma’s a bitch. Unfortunately for the two of you, so am I.



Ciao Bella!

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Filed under Secret Life of Bees, This So-Called Life, World Domination

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