Tag Archives: Creativity

24 in ’12: Artist

I don’t get a lot of nights like this, so I am extremely grateful for tonight. It’s not very often that I find myself able to sit out in the balcony after midnight, stare out into the distance and drown myself in my thoughts.

The streets are empty tonight. I can see the driveway that leads to the compound – this little piece of carefully constructed land that often makes me forget I am in Manila. The lights along the sidewalk cast a soft glow on our cobbled streets. It’s just enough to save someone from losing their step. The same glow casts shadows on the walls, creating beautiful shapes and elegant lines – dark against light.  Masterpieces in their own right.

In the distance I can see lights from street lamps and windows. Further still, barely visible to my weak eyesight are what I think are city lights. It dances, those city lights. It’s like watching soft waves of color ripple across the nearly ebony sky.

Tonight, I am both happy and sad. I am contented and restless. I am at home and yearning to be elsewhere.

And tonight, I’m okay with that.

Tonight, I want what I want. I miss what I never had. I wish for what I cannot have. I crave more than what I am allowed. Tonight, there is no fair or unfair. There is no innocence and guilt. There is no truth and lie. There is just the night and me.

And tonight, I’m okay with that, too.

This is how I create – not with strokes using paint and brushes, but with words woven with wishes and emotions, with wistful smiles and precious tears. There is nothing in this world that I want more than to be able to paint with my hands – but I have not known how and so instead I learned to paint with my soul.

It’s still Ed Sheeran’s voice I hear as I write this. It drowns out the sound of engines and soft voices, leaving me lost in this moment. There is something about this song that makes me feel.  It is more than the words sung – there is something about the melody and the beat that reaches out and embraces what parts of me it touches. It wraps itself around me, gently swaying me to a place of comfort I had known in a past life. The song helps me write. It seeks to heal what is broken. It soothes my bleeding heart and my blackened soul.

This is what peace looks like. It is stillness. It is the quiet.  It is the absence of judgment.  It is the endlessness of time.  It is what it is.

Tonight, there is hope that I will one day become whole.

“All I want is the taste that your lips allow…”

Blessed Be…



Filed under Jei Pod, Secret Life of Bees, This So-Called Life

22 in ’12: Almost

Not someday or soon
Frozen in time with the light of the moon

Not now or no
Just moments of bliss and seconds of sorrow

Not heaven or hell
With bonds to break and lies to tell

Not nothing or all
No path to take but where you won’t fall

Not truth or lie
No tales to tell but ones of goodbye

Not love or hate
No hand to hold in this limboed state

Not day or night
Just wisps of smoke that fade in flight

“Shades of Gray”

Audioslave To: Give Me Love, Ed Sheeran (on repeat)

Blessed Be…

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Filed under Jei Pod, Secret Life of Bees, This So-Called Life

21 in ’12: Borrowed

While browsing through some of the blogs I’ve linked to my own, I found this and fell completely, insanely, irrevocably in love with it…

1. Love is your paint brush, the world’s your canvas.

2. We are life’s meteors that entered this atmosphere on a fiery dream of love.

3. Love is learning the tender graces of the heart as you adhere to the undulating alchemy of another human being alive in you.

4. You can complain that love hasn’t found you, that it has left you high and dry with nothing left to your name, but your name is the only name love repeats.

5. We are all stars crashing into consciousness – dreams awakening – love illuminating – rodeo riders of the moon – poets writing the rhyme and reason to keep love alive. (This sounds most like me, I think)

That Rose-Colored Lens

6. Love will knock down doors, part the seas, walk on water and shake the stars from the universe to find you. (FAVORITE!!! As in.)

7. Love transcends time and places us gently in the center of gravity.

8. The biggest part of the mystery is that you are led to places of the heart and soul that will show you your capacity to love. And that’s the reason you are here.

9. How can you not have time for love, when love always gives you time. Feel love, give love, be love, live love, spread love, love, love.

10. Love IS and all there IS.

11. To love each other is your greatest reward. You are the greatest love story.

Ciao Bella!

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Filed under iRead, This So-Called Life

In Another Life, When We’re Both Cats (52/365)

Very, very recently, I was introduced to a self-assessment that showed what I would be had I been an animal.  With that particular “test”, I turned out to be a dolphin, because I was, by nature, a care-giver (to which I protested very loudly, mind you).  Out of curiosity, I decided to look up more If-You-Were-An-Animal assessments and came up with the following results:

From Animal In You 

The Lion

The lion personality has the unmistakable presence of nobility. Moving with the unruffled calm of a cat and the dignified gait of someone in command, lions have no need to walk or talk quickly since they’re never in danger of being ignored or marginalized. Every now and then, the lion will play to its gruff reputation by dramatically reprimanding a subordinate or impulsively making love to its partner with unsheathed claws. But underneath all its hissing and scratching, it’s still a pussycat at heart.

Lions usurp a disproportional amount of resources with their extravagant lifestyles, and because of their voracious appetites society cannot support a great number of them.

Energetic and strong, lions respect strength in others and have no time for subtlety. Their moods are demonstrated with abandon, from yawning in public to growling at impudent inferiors, and they feel no need to follow social etiquette. They’re always the first to complain about bad food or service in a restaurant, but are fair-minded and equitable and are often called to settle disputes of others.

When a lion is hired into a new job, things immediately begin to change. Alliances are forged and old rules are thrown out without regard for the feelings of others. In short order, there is a new sense of direction and a tangible sense of confidence that percolates throughout the organization. Perhaps because of their powerful personalities lions are not detail oriented, for the minutia of the mundane irritates the lion. It prefers to concentrate on the bigger picture, expecting its mate to do the ‘trivial’ tasks of shopping, housekeeping and childrearing.

In business the lion prefers to surround itself with animals beneath it in the food chain, offering leadership, strength and protection in exchange for loyalty and hard work. Realizing that its survival depends on these animals it is protective and possessive with its employees, but at the end of the day insists on taking the lion’s share of the profits.

Lions are aggressive, predictable and dependable. Others always know where they stand with a lion, and their confidence and leadership abilities make them successful CEOs, company presidents, judges or lion tamers.

Personal Level of Agreement: 8

This quiz, however, kept swinging between the Lion and…

The Rooster

Roosters are those talented, creative, but somewhat eccentric people who make life interesting for the rest of us. Their bird-like minds are always on the lookout for stimulation and roosters display the characteristically high-energy behavior of their species. They are artistic, creative and sophisticated, with a thorough knowledge of fine wines, cooking, writing, theater and painting.

Roosters exhibit a decided theatrical streak as they strut their stuff in the latest fashions. Craving attention, their show-off attitude sometimes generates criticism from those close to them, and the need to be the center of attention permeates every aspect of their busy life. When it comes to clothes, furniture and cars they only purchase the highest quality items and their excessive spending can land them in financial disarray.

Roosters are in big demand at parties. With a witty repartee and an ability to mix easily, they flirt shamelessly while reveling in the glow of the spot-light. Concerned about how they are perceived by others, they are only happy if people are talking to or about them.

The rooster’s active mind is always working on a way to create more drama in its life. Offsetting a feisty and competitive nature is a secretive and aloof side that manifests itself when it feels insecure. And yet, a rooster is a solid friend. Their blunt approach, while sometimes hurtful and tactless, can always be counted on to be honest and frank.

Subscribing to the early bird maxim, roosters rise a little earlier than their competition and could even be accused of having their fingers in too many pies. The world is so fascinating to the rooster that settling down into any one career would be impossibly constricting. Unfortunately, their earning potential can suffer in a competitive world that rewards specialization. But roosters will succeed when they choose a career that presents a variety of challenges, such as medicine, publishing, journalism or acting.

As a salesperson, a rooster is without equal and can sell anything from real estate to used cars. A hard worker with a keen eye for detail, its creativity and dedication make it a wonderful employee. As a manager or business owner, however, a rooster is finicky and picky and tends to alienate subordinates with unrelenting enthusiasm. It is also not a particularly strong team player, and the perceived self-absorbed and sanctimonious attitude breeds resentment.

Personal Level of Agreement: 9

From 2on 

The Lion

Personal Level of Agreement: (I don’t know.  There was no explanation.)

And to think it got that just from me typing in “Joey Palenzuela”

From GoToQuiz

The Teal Cat

You’re the Teal Kitty Cat!  You’re as swift and sly as a ninja and very hard to please.  You can be very soft yet very cruel at the same time.  Your soulmate is the beige racoon and you’re in conflict with the red jaguar.

Personal Level of Agreement: 9 (but not the part about the beige racoon and the red jaguar thing)

From BrainFall

The Platypus (in a former life)

You were eccentric and unclassifiable and it still shows. Your strength lies in your diverse associations with all walks of life. Although many people try to identify you, only you know your true self. You’re a self-thinker and a bit of an introvert.

Personal Level of Agreement: 10

From Surviving Your Serengeti

The Communicating Elephant

The elephant shows us that the art of good communication depends on both verbal and non-verbal signals. Within each parcel of words we deliver is buried a non-verbal message that provides insight into what the words really mean. Skilled communicators understand the need and nuances of both.

Personal Level of Agreement: 9

An this one comes with a great article on communication!

Which one do you think is most accurate? Lol.

Blessed Be…

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Filed under ET-mology, No Man's Land, This So-Called Life