And The Universe said to me…
The older the soul, PhoenixFire, the softer the glance, the quicker the smile and the sooner to say “I love you.”
* * *
When I was sixteen, I got my hands on a book written by Jude Deveraux called Remembrance. I loved it and, to this day, remains one of my favorite love stories. The heroine, Hayden Lane, said something that I always find myself coming back to. She said she wanted everything – the grand passion of a great love. Needless to say, being the hopeless romantic that I am (stir in the artist, and the dreamer, and the story-weaver into the mix), I wanted that too.
Eleven years later, I watched Enchanted and was reminded of the same things – a grand passion and a great love. Granted, that particular story involved a fake place called Andalacia and a dragon, but that’s besides the point. I remember being inside that theatre, sitting there with my then-significant-other beside me and thinking, “This can’t be it” (referring to a relationship that was beginning to plateau) and “There has to be something more”.
Now, six years later, I found myself talking about the very same movie with someone who, until quite recently, I thought had a decent chance of being with me. We were walking in MOA and of course Enchanted came up because that was where I watched it all those years ago. After listening to me gush over the movie, he turns to me and says, “So ganun yung gusto mo? Yung lovelife na parang Enchanted?” (translation: So that’s what you want? A lovelife like the one in Enchanted?) I was looking at him and said, “Hindi naman…” Yes, really with the dot-dot-dot… because it was a complete and utter lie.
You see, I want to be able to say that I didn’t something similar to what Robert (Dempsey) and Giselle (Adams) had because, based on experience, it usually drives people to run away. Far, far away. Too much pressure, I guess. But what the hell, right? I want what I want. Of course, right after that, I went home and watched the film again. It was then that I realized that it wasn’t the fairytale that I wanted so much. I’ve been in enough relationships to know that the fairytale doesn’t last… After a couple of months (sometimes weeks, even) reality will always step in.
There was that scene, when Robert and Nancy were dancing in the King and Queen’s Ball and he looks up to see Giselle standing on top of the stairs. That look on his face – the one that told everyone who was watching he was completely and irrevocably in love with her even if he didn’t know it yet – that was what I wanted. Yes, at the end of the day, I want grand passion and a great love… But most of all, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
* * *
My soul, then, must be at least a thousand years old. Please let my thousand-year-old soul meet another of its kind.
A Little Broken,