Tag Archives: Questions

18 in ’12: Fine

“In nineteen minutes, you can mow the lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game.

In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five.

Nineteen minutes is how long it took the Tennessee Titans to sell out of tickets to the play-offs. It’s the length of a sitcom, minus the commercials. It’s the driving distance from the Vermont border to the town of Sterling, New Hampshire.

In nineteen minutes, you can order a pizza and get it delivered. You can read a story to a child of have your oil changed. You can walk a mile. You can sew a hem.

In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world, or you can just jump off it.

In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge.”

“Nineteen Minutes”, Jodi Picoult

I have been reading Jodi Picoult’s Nineteen Minutes – in fact, that’s where I got the excerpt from. I couldn’t get into it for a while… but now I can’t seem to put it down. I’ve gotten so engrossed that it’s even crossed my mind to buy an actual copy of the book – something that I have avoided in my attempt to avoid unnecessary expenses. It makes me wonder then – is reading a book about a school shooting, where a lonely, misunderstood boy ends the life of 10 people and injures 19 others a necessary expense?

Put that image on top of that tale – the most common lie we tell is “I’m fine” – and it hits a little closer to home.

I am known for crying over movies (regardless of the genre), songs, significant human experiences… and stories. Stories that I feel an unbelievable connection to. Stories that ring true. Stories of love… of loss… of hope… of death… of grief… of sorrow. But of all tales ever told, the ones that speak most to me are those about loneliness.

Of all things, I once considered Grief and Sorrow to be my oldest friends. So much that I once wrote about it when I was beginning Destiny (my attempt at a novel – but that is another story and will be told at another time). It wasn’t until I was spiraling down the darkness of depression that I found I stood to be corrected.

Do you know how it feels like to swim in a sea of sorrow, every exhausting second seemingly endless, with the shore nowhere in sight? I do.

I don’t understand whether it hurt more to find myself in that dark little hole, or to find that no amount of reassurance from those who love me was enough to pull me out. Those are the moments when every single demon comes out of every single memory, and every single second is filled with every fear you ever knew. Those are the moments when the darkness takes over your heart and all your eyes can see is despair. Those are the moments when every breath you take burns a million little holes in your lungs and you feel every iota of pain.

They say that suicide is a coward’s way out. They’re right, and I agree with them completely. I’m not proud of it, but it would be a lie to say that it’s never crossed my mind. I love my life, but sometimes I hate it. And I always, always wished I understood why.

Despite the dark and dreary entry, I must admit that I have been fortunate so far. I have had my dark days but I have always managed to pull out of it. Yet every success leaves me tired… So extremely and inexplicably tired.

When years trickle down to months… When months trickle down to days… When days trickle down to minutes… And minutes trickle down to seconds… How long will it take before you finally let go?

How long do you think will it take before I do?

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Filed under iRead, No Man's Land, Secret Life of Bees, This So-Called Life

Nothing but the Truth

Got this from Stephen in Fb… so I know that I haven’t written anything down in the last couple of weeks or so.  What can I say?  It’s been an interesting two weeks.  I do promise, however, that one day, I will sit down and write things down. =P


Can you fill this out without lying? You’ve been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose at least 8 people to be tagged. Don’t forget to tag me!

To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

– Pandesal and hotdogs (breakfast!)

2.Where was your profile picture taken?

– The picture in Facebook was taken in Luk Yuen, Greenhills

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?

– Haha… I’ve never tried, but we have it!

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?

– Well, the day’s barely started, but I’m sure someone will…

5.How late did you stay up last night and why?

– A little before midnight, I guess.  I had to spend a little extra time in the office last night and wasn’t able to leave by 11 pm.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

– Yes 🙂

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

– No, I don’t think so…

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?

– Jutes and Christopher (both of whom I barely see)

9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?

– Yes, I think it’s possible… for certain exes >:)

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?

– I’ve never had Dr. Pepper.  Is it rootbeer?  I hate rootbeer!

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?

– Probably a week and a half ago.

12. Who took your profile picture?

– Me!  I specialize in self-portraits using my mobile cam.  Haha…

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

– Leo and Jenny Joy

14. Was yesterday better than today?

– Again, the day’s just started.  I guess we’ll see…

15. Can you live a day without TV?

– As long as I have a book, yes.

16. Are you upset about anything?

– It would be such a lie if I said I wasn’t.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

– Always. -> Stephen’s answer.  I so agree!

18. Are you a bad influence?

– Hahaha… not the Evil Queen for nothing!

19. Night out or night in?

– Generally, night in.

20. What items could you not go without during the day

– My mobile phone and my wallet

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

– Kuya Elmer, I think.  Right before his wedding last year.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?

– A message from Boyfriend 🙂

23. How do you feel about your life right now?

– Scary and exciting and sad and happy all at the same time.

24. Do you hate anyone?

– No… I still believe that love and hate are the two faces of the same coin.

25. If we were to look in your face book inbox, what would we find?

– A LOT of messages from Jutes!

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?

– Of course!

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

– Oh, you mean other than myself? *snicker*

28. What song is stuck in your head?

– That stupid song that has the line “I don’t care… e-e-e-e-e”.  I heard it on Channel V a while ago and now it’s stuck in my head!

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?

– Anyone from the Growing Gabi Gang (I’d say Boyfriend but we live together)

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?

– Well, it’s still possible…

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

– Rest!

32. Do you think too much or too little?

– Both

33. Do you smile a lot?

– Yes.  It’s a defense mechanism.



Holed Up in Our Room in Colorado
Listening to Jeopardy

Blessed Be…

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28 Questions

1.ARE YOU OVER 18?
:: For over seven years now

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
:: A picture of me and my fiance when we were in Westin

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
:: Being the vampire that I am, I’m always awake at night (work requirement)

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
:: What time it was.  I apparently have this fear of being late.

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
:: The book I’m currently reading… Right now it’s the “The Historian”

6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEAL?
:: Always.  Not that I try… I just usually don’t have a choice.

7. GRILLED OR FRIED?
:: Fried.

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ?
:: I openly admit to the world that I am EVIL.  No one believes me, though.

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
:: Not if there is someone else I know who’s in the dark with me.  No, let me rephrase that… it depends on who is in the dark with me.

10. FAVORITE HANGOUT?
:: Bookstores, Novelty Shops, Starbucks… any place that has a chair.

11. THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT?
:: Intellectual stimulation.  Even when falling in love, I have an IQ requirement.

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS?
:: Food

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPY?
:: Sweet Child of Mine – Sheryll Crow

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
:: Becoming incapacitated when I get older… that I’ll die after hitting 30… that no one will remember how EVIL I was…

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
:: Giver (if you’re nice).  Most of the time, though, I’m a taker.  I’m predatory by nature.

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
:: Joey… Je… Jelay… Jekay…

17. WHAT IS THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR DAD’S MIDDLE NAME?
:: C

18. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
:: Out killing someone

19. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
:: Pasta from Cibo with tons parmesan cheese

20. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
:: I would have one if I actually watched T.V.

21. FIRST THING YOU’LL SAVE IN A FIRE
:: Myself.

22. YOUR EYE COLOR?
:: In person, brown.  In pictures, it changes.

23. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING?
:: My Cigarettes

24. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
:: A cashier, when I was really young.  A nurse, when I got a little bit earlier.  A writer, when I was in elementary.  A singer (and a theatre actress!), when I was in high school.  A lawyer, when I was about to enter college.

** SIDE NOTE: I turned out to be the Devil Incarnate.

25. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 7 AM?
:: On the days that I get off early, I’d probably be watching a DVD while eating breakfast.  On the days that I get off late, I’d probably be wishing that I was at home, watching a DVD while eating breakfast.

26. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
:: White, with pink flowers

27. WHO DO YOU WANT TO MEET?
:: Queen Nefertiti

28. HOW’S LIFE TODAY?
:: Interesting >:)

Written on: March 25, 2006 (Saturday)
Listening to: Aida’s Interview for the Trainer Post

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