Tag Archives: Gratitude

21.13: I Think I Dreamed You Into Life

In Your Eyes I See My Future In An Instant

For the daily text messages and the nightly phone calls… All before we ever set eyes on each other.

I will always love you.

***

Maybe it’s intuition
But some things you just don’t question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I’ve found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

[chorus:]

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There’s just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I’m searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

[repeat chorus]

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

[repeat chorus to fade]

I Knew I Loved You,
Savage Garden

 

 

Blessed Be…

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18.13: Songs for You

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

It’s not that I’ve had nothing to write about – on the contrary. I guess it’s rather hard to write about life when you’re a little too busy living it.

But we are all called to do certain things… And, once again, I have been called to put words on (cyber) paper.

*          *          *

I recently discovered this sweet song by Taylor Swift called “Begin Again”. It reminded me of how it all began for me with my husband all those months ago. Sometimes I wonder if he has noticed how many times I’ve played that song at home. What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic till the end.

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn’t like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turn the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn’t get this song
But I do, I do

Walked in expecting you’d be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don’t know how nice that is
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ’cause he never did
I’ve been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

You said you never met one girl
Who had as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don’t know why
I’m coming off a little shy
But I do

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ’cause he never did

I’ve been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies that your family watches
Every single Christmas and I want to talk about that
And for the first time what’s past is past

‘Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ’cause he never did
I’ve been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

“Begin Again”
Taylor Swift

*          *          *

And because this song (and its video) is the cutest thing ever, it gave me the brilliant idea to list down songs that have mattered to me. To him. To us.

And here we go…

The Song: Love of My Life (The Wedding Song), Darla Day
The Words: “…You’re the one I prayed for long ago / Fearless trust I never thought I’d know / I’ve found the answer to my dreams / My eyes were opened to love’s mystery…”
The Reason: This song was given to me, mind you 🙂

The Song: Fade Into You, OST Nashville
The Words: “… If you were a window and I was the rain / I’d pour myself out and wash off the pain / I’d fall like a tear so your light could shine through / Then I’d just fade into you…”
The Reason: I LOVE this song. It’s the kind that has a melody that wraps itself around you and never lets go.

The Song: Blessed, Christina Aguilera
The Words: “…Blessed for everything you’ve given me / Blessed for all the tenderness you show / Do my best with every breath that’s in me / Blessed to make sure you never go…”
The Reason: Because that is how I feel every single day since I found you.

The Song: For All of My Life, For Real
The Words: “…For all of my life / You are the one / I will love you faithfully forever / All of my life / You are the one / I give to you my greatest love / For all of my life…”
The Reason: This was playing on the radio when you brought me over to my uncle’s house. That was a Sunday. I told you I fell in love on a Sunday.

The Song: Begin Again, Taylor Swift
The Words: “…I’ve been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end / But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again…”
The Reason: Because on a Saturday in McDonald’s I watched it begin again.

The Song: By Your Side, Sade
The Words: “…When you’re lost and you’re alone and you cant get back again / I will find you darling and i will bring you home…”
The Reason: It’s Sade. And it’s jazz. It’s something I would dance to. And because I will always be there, by your side.

The Song: Have I Told You Lately (That I Love You), Rod Stewart
The Words: “Have I told you lately that I love you / Have I told you there’s no one else above you / Fill my heart with gladness / Take away all my sadness / Ease my troubles that’s what you do…”
The Reason: Because even though I have learned enough to always love myself a little more, I will always love you first and myself second.

The Song: When I Need You, Rod Stewart
The Words: “…When I need you / I just close my eyes and I’m with you / And all that I so want to give you baby / It’s only a heart beat away…”
The Reason: If I could give you everything you want, I would.

The Song: Everything Has Changed, Taylor Swift feat. Ed Sheeran
The Words: “…’Cause all I know is we said, “Hello.” / And your eyes look like coming home / All I know is a simple name / Everything has changed / All I know is you held the door / You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours / All I know since yesterday is everything has changed…”
The Reason: Because finally I have come home.

The Song: Over the Rainbow, Eva Cassidy
The Words: “…Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue / And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”
The Reason: You always said this song sounded like hope. You, in turn, are my hope.

*          *          *

I will always love you.

 

 

Blessed Be…

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17.13: This One’s for You

A Life Story.

My Life in Verse

To the one who said she would always defend…
To the one who said we’d always be friends…
To the one who I will always regret…
To the one who will never, ever forget…

To the one who still cannot forgive…
To the one who said she would never leave…
To the one who broke my mending heart…
To the ones who took and would then depart…

To the one who was able to begin anew…
To the one who remains a friend so true…
To the one who finally came back home…
To the one who always called me his own…

To the one who taught me how to fall…
To the one who taught me to stand so tall…
To the one who taught me how to see…
To the one who said they should love me for me…

To the ones who hurt, who burned, and lied…
To the ones who thought I would be silent and cry…
To the ones who are only brave when amidst a throng…
To the ones I proved to have been wrong…

To the one who hurt me without meaning to…
To the one who spoke without being spoken to…
To the one who filled my heart with bliss…
To the one who will be my one last kiss…

To the only one I would have said,
“With this ring, I thee wed”…
To the one who loved me at first sight…
To the one I will love until last light…

To the one I come home to in the dark of night…
To the one I wake up to in the morning light…
To the one whose life mine is entwined to…
To the one I love… This one’s for you.

 

 

Blessed Be…

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11.13: With This Ring I Thee Wed

“Hi. This is (name of husband undisclosed). I’m going to marry him one day.”

Those were the first words I said to my mother and father after not visiting for almost a decade. It was December 25th of last year – Christmas – that I decided to introduce him to my parents. Surprisingly, we weren’t the only ones in the cemetery that day.

Yes, my parents are dead. I buried my mother when I was six, my father when I was fifteen. Life would never be the same after that.

You would think that after all these years, it would have been easier… That I would find myself to be a well-adjusted adult calmly dealing with life with grace and poise. Instead I found myself crying more than half a lifetime of tears that never fell five minutes after we finally found their grave. Yes, grave. My mother and father are buried in the same plot. It’s incredibly romantic in a totally creepy sort of way. So much for grace and poise.

That day, I promised I’d come back on my birthday. I’m not too much for following societal rules, so I decided to visit on the dates that meant something to me, not to the church or the rest of the world’s population.

And what do you know? I kept my promise.

*          *          *

Faith.

I was saying goodbye to my parents when I suddenly whispered, “It’s always going to be worth it, isn’t it?” That was their (The Universe, my parents, The Higher Power, My Goddess) one final gift to me. Yesterday, I realized that no matter what had happened, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how hard it has been, it has always been – and it will always be – worth it.

I told my mom with my husband beside me, they would be seeing a lot more of their prodigal daughter. But then I realized that the sudden longing to visit my parents, the sudden wanting to visit the adoration chapel, the not-so-sudden affection I have for every member of my family – these are not things that I do because he pushes me to do it. Nor are they things I do because I want to impress him with my morals or values.

I do these things because it is right – not for society or for church or for family, but for me. In many, many ways, and in many, many levels, it was finally time for me to come home.

Coming Home.

 

 

Blessed Be…

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75 in ’12: Yours

And I ask you… Who on earth would not fall in love with a man who publicly professes his love for you?

I came back to the condo tonight, exhausted from work, to find this in my newsfeed, “An Angel came into my life quite recently which made me feel worthy of being called a man … I love you joey ♥” Who wouldn’t smile and find herself at a loss for words? And the man who posted that – he is mine. Even if I never ask him, I know.

Sometimes I wonder what made it so different this time.

Truly, he is unlike any man I have ever met. He belongs to a time that I thought had passed – where traditions were honored and chivalry wasn’t dead. When I see myself through his eyes, I become the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth. In his eyes I am a blessing, a miracle, that somehow found its way into his life. I know he will forever be thankful for me… that he will always forgive my imperfections. I know he will love me with all that he is, even without me asking.

That is how he makes me feel – that I am worth all the years of waiting, all the years of never having met.

Promise.

Promise.

And I love him. I love him for the man that he is and the man he wants to be. I love him for having been broken and finding himself better for it. I love him for the hope he gives me – that maybe this is it, maybe I will find my happily ever after. I love him because he makes me want to live a better life – one that is filled with blessings and grace and bliss.

My love for him does not blind me to reality, but it makes me unafraid of what could happen. I see tomorrow when I look in his eyes… A tomorrow that I thought was not meant for me.

So yes, you are the Goddess’ greatest gift to me. I will always be grateful to her for having given me you.

*          *          *

 

 

Blessed Be…

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74 in ’12: How The Pieces Fit

Who’s to say how much time is needed for one person to fall in love with another? Some people have known each other their entire lives and never really fall. Some people have always had a certain person in their lives and, one day, wake up and finally “see” him in a completely different light. Some people meet and the rest is history.

Me? It took me a total of 12 days to fall in love. And the best thing about it is that he loves me too.

I know some people won’t understand and I know that there will be a lot of questions. If you’re one of them, then I guess this post will be a complete and utter disappointment to you. You see, no matter how many questions you ask – how it happened, how it could have happened, why it happened – I have no answers for you except this: It happened. So there.

No, I didn’t know him since forever. Before last month, he wasn’t even remotely a part of my life – so I didn’t just wake up one day seeing him as someone who was more than a friend. He was someone that I met and got to know at the right place at the right time.  I was ready for him when he found me. 

Finally.

Finally.

The night he told me he loved me, I did not ask if he was sure. I didn’t ask why. I accepted it for what it was – the truth. I don’t know how I knew. I just did.

Even before having met him, I knew one day I would love him. I fell in love with his mind and his heart and a little bit of his soul… Everything else was icing on the cake. You have to understand that life has been long and lonely for me. That I have been broken so many times. That I was completely prepared to be alone. But I met him and that changed. When I listen to his voice, my heart feels so much lighter. When I look at him, I do not see the perfect man, but I see a beautiful, beautiful person. When I learn about his life, it sometimes feels like a life that I had lived. No, we are not the same person and I will never claim that – but with him I found something that I could not find in myself. With him, I found peace.

It’s the kind of peace that makes you smile for no reason, at some random moment of the day. It’s the kind of peace that makes you feel that everything will be alright and no matter what life throws your way, you’ll be able to get through it – and that you wouldn’t have to go through it alone. It’s the kind of peace that makes you believe that you are worth it. It’s the kind that proves that sometimes it doesn’t have to be so hard after all.

One thing that I’ve learned was that I was not looking for a man who would save me. At the end of the day, the only person who could save me is me. I was looking for someone who would be there… Who would hold my hand… Who would hold me close… Who would understand. I was looking for someone who would be there while I tried to save myself.

In all honesty, I do not owe anyone any kind of explanation. The fact of the matter is, there is no explanation. There is no what or how or why for me. For me there just is.

One me. One him. One love.

And I couldn’t be happier.

 

 

Blessed Be…

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61 in ’12: Dancing In The Rain

One book that I’ve always wanted to finish was Richard Templar‘s Rules of Life. Unfortunately, I lost my copy and I have spent the last year searching for another one. In vain.

But if there’s a will, there’s a way. I might now have found the book I was looking for, but I found several blogs (each of which are acknowledge at the appropriate segment) that shares several things to live by. Here is a list made up of several lessons from several sites. One day, I hope to add my own.

*          *          *

From Regina Brett
1. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
2. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
3. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
4. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
5. The most important sex organ is the brain.
6. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
7. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
8. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
9. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

From Nancy Sathre-Vogel
1. There is nothing to hold you back except you.
2. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
3. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
4. Do what you love, not what you think you’re supposed to do.
5. Forgiving yourself is far more important than getting others to forgive you.
6. For the most part, it doesn’t matter what people think. Follow your own truth.
7. You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have.
8. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
9. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
10. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
11. It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance.

From Marc and Angel Hack Life
1. Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you.
2. People deserve a second chance, but not a third.
3. Marry your best friend.
4. If you never act, you will never know for sure.

From Paid to Exist (Part Un)
1. Often those who aren’t the easiest to love are the ones who need it the most.
2. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is.
3. Every man has a right to choose his own destiny.
4. Be grateful for this moment, it is all there is.

From Paid to Exist (Part Deux)
1. Creatively expressing yourself is like making love to the universe.
2. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
3. Everyone is an divine artist, writing their own story each day, choose to write your story with love.

From Me 🙂
1. If you’re waiting for life to be easy or fair, you will be waiting for a really, really long time.
2. If you refuse to accept anything but the best, then that is what life will give you.
3. If you want to be with someone, then BE with that someone. No excuses.
4. Love me first. Love me second. Love me third. Because that is the only way I know how to love you.
5. You are worth it.

*          *          *

Options multiply, PhoenixFire, when insistence lessens.

And when the time is right, I’ll help you choose.

Be fruitful,
The Universe

 

 

Ciao Bella!

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