It’s funny how access to any kind of social media platform miraculously turns people into political analysts.
Tag Archives: Random
They say that life is made up of a series of lessons. I have to agree.
When I look back at my life, I know that there were some lessons that I had to learn – which I did and I was (finally) able to move on. Some lessons, however, are harder to figure out. Whether this is because it’s a personality disorder on my part, a stubbornness that I cannot seem to get out of my system or simply a masochistic tendency, I do not know.
Sometimes I wonder if any of us will ever be at peace with the fact that those we love and love us loved someone else before us. I once asked someone if he regretted being with his ex (and he was with her for 4 years and it ended horribly) and he said yes. And I had the gall to say, “Don’t. You shouldn’t.”
Little did I know that there would come a time when him regretting it or not was not point. The point was that I did.
True, she never did anything to me – I don’t even know her from Adam – and yet I loathe her existence. I loathe her for everything she did to him. I abhor her for how she broke him. Most of all (and most illogically), I hate her for the simple fact that, once upon a time, he loved her.
Never mind the fact that he doesn’t love her now. Never mind the fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. It’s that once upon a time he loved her… That once upon a time he wanted to spend his life with her.
Sometimes I wonder why I can’t leave the past well enough alone (and I have to applaud the amount of effort that I put into this, as it sometimes involves reading goddamn posts from
(social network undisclosed) written a million years ago, going through horrendously long friends lists and about a bazillion photo albums containing some really badly taken – and not to mention embarrassing-if-that-were-me-I’d-rather-die-than-post-that – pictures). I know it’s me and my perverse need to know everything… Even if I know that I’ll pay for it every single time.
This is not doubt. Never think that it is. I know that this is it for me. I will never love – nor would I want to – anyone else. I also know, however, that this is intrinsically and inexplicably wrong (the masochistic part, not the loving part). I have come to the conclusion that it is easier for us to speak about our past because for us it is over. But there is always that other person to think about. The one who always hurts a little when they remember that they know what they know. It’s not that I don’t understand that there was a past. Sometimes I think I just wish I could erase it.
But I can’t. I know what I know. Against all logic, I went through what I did. I did this. This is my bed and now I have to lie in it. There is absolutely no one to blame but me.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that this some baggage that I carry with me all the time. It’s not. But again, I know what I know. This is me grieving. This is me trying to learn how to let go. This is me trying to learn that one goddamn lesson that I cannot seem to learn.
I’ve always said that the worst kinds of hell are those that we make for ourselves. And yet with that nugget of wisdom firmly lodged in my cranium, I really have to wonder, “Why on earth do I keep fucking doing it?”
And in times like these, the only sarcastic quip I can come up with to comfort myself is, “See the light at the end of the tunnel? That’s a train heading straight for you.”
I told you I was a little crazy.
Dark & Twisted…
I was recently tasked to go through a not-so-big pile in resumes in hopes of finding a diamond in the rough. The objective of this particular activity was to find suitable candidates for an initial face-to-face interview. 30 minutes into it, my head began to pound (later on you will understand why). Due to an undeniable need for therapeutic release, I have decided to write about it.
Let’s begin with the end. Out of 15 CVs, my good friend AC and I ended up with (drum roll, please!)… 3. Three. Seriously. Three (I cannot get enough of saying this out loud).
Some time between CV #3 and #15, I was making mental notes of what I wanted to say to these people. Since I now know that I will (thankfully) never get to meet around 80% of them, I will write it down instead.
Here goes (in no particular order)…
CV #1: You’re overqualified. We’re afraid that you’re going to bore people to death when you talk. No, seriously, you’re overqualified. Take that as a good thing.
CV #2: It was very nice of you to share that you are currently processing your papers for possible employment out of the country. I would, however, rethink this as it only made me wonder if you were planning to flee the RP any time soon. Also, it is best, when sending a horrendously long CV, to have all pages formatted as short or long, not a combination of both.
CV #3: You are very intelligent – your background and extensive career certainly speaks for you. You are, unfortunately, also very old (and when I say old, I mean OLD). I am concerned that you might suddenly keel over and die during class.
CV #4: To be honest, you actually made it to the “maybe” pile. I applaud the very courageous decision to shift from the automotive industry to that of the BPO. I have no doubt that you are very good at what you do right now. However, further screening of your application moved you from the “maybe” pile to the “no” pile. Also, it would be best, when updating your work history, to begin with your most recent employer, not the one you were with two decades ago.
CV #5: Please do not write your cover letter using size-20 font. I may be visually impaired, but I am not blind. Size 12 would have done just fine. Some tips for future endeavors…
1.) When applying for a position, please decide what position you’re actually applying for. This is not the lottery. More entries does not mean more chances of winning.
2.) Do not rely so heavily on MS Word’s spell and grammar check. You may spell all the words correctly, but it does not mean that you make sense. And even if you have skills for running something efficiently and have outgoing personality and professionalism in creating a calm and friendly work environment, I highly doubt that you will be the best asset for my organization.
3.) When you have attached something to an email, it has already been done. Therefore, it should be in the past tense. It’s the tense wherein you put a -d or -ed after the verb. Unless it’s irregular, of course.
CV #6: Bata ka pa. Marami ka pang bigas na kakainin. Next time nalang.
CV #7: It is normally good practice to include tasks and responsibilities for your employment history. Don’t just put the company, your position and how long you were there. Malay ko ba kung ano ginagawa mo dun. I will, however, admit to being in awe of your ability to put a full-body picture in your resume.
CV #8: When listing down tasks and responsibilities of previous and present jobs, please do not write in paragraph form. There are things called bullets. Use it.
CV #9: The position you are applying for is that of a Training Consultant. Please do not write “Application For: Hostes, Receptionist, Captain, F&B” on your resume.
(background omitted) ka. Hindi namin kelangan ng (position connected to background omitted). Sana i-check ang qualifications bago mag-apply.
CV #11: Maganda sana ang resume mo… sana yun ang kelangan namin. Isa ka pa – check qualifications before applying. Please? Ako na nagmamakaawa.
CV #12: There are no words. Like seriously. Because of you, I posted “Bakit ang daming galit sa subject-verb agreement and tenses? Maawa naman kayo sa nagbabasa sa sinulat nyo.” on facebook.
* * *
Here’s to hoping.
Dark & Twisted…
Whoever said that curiosity killed the cat didn’t know half of it. They forgot to mention the sheer and utter torture that comes with opening accounts you weren’t supposed to look up in the first place… That and the realization that sometimes it’s not your past that stabs you in the heart – it’s someone else’s.
My fault. My bad. I don’t know why I do these things. Seriously.
Dark & Twisted…
You all know this isn’t my first blog, right? If you didn’t though, check this out. It’s a complete riot to read (this coming from me, who recently found my old blog site and have been laughing my ass off for the last half hour over the things I wrote so many years ago).
Take this, for example…
* * *
1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
2009: Ew. No.
2012: Uh, no. (at least wala nang “ew”, diba?)
2.WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
2009: My black tube top.
2012: A white shirt that says, “Hard Rock Cafe”. And it isn’t even mine.
3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND’S LIST?
2009: You mean asides from my boyfriend?
2012: Hell, yeah! (hulaan kung sino!)
4. DO YOU HAVE “A THING” FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP FRIENDS LIST?
2009: Refer to answer number 3
2012: Wala na akong Top Friends List. Hindi na uso ang Friendster. Haller.
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
2009: Everyone except for 2… so now that makes it… 169
2012: All of them. The ones I don’t have been deleted. Or were never added in the first place. I mean, seriously, why would you even add someone you don’t know on facebook?
6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
2009: 2 max
2012: Still 2 max. But I want the first to be a girl. So she can grow up to be just like me. (watch out, world!)
7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
2009: Considering that they’ve been dead since I was 15? I’d say pretty much.
2012: Considering I barely remember one and made up really good memories about the other… Yes. *smirk*
9. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
2009: Probably not
10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST B-DAY?
2009: I… went to work. Buti nalang meh surprise yung mga friends ko.
2012: I was in the office. Seriously. (in fairness, so many people greeted me this year. Mas “sociable” na kasi ako ngayon. Apir!)
12. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
2009: 8:30 am
2012: 5:30 am (and before that 4:00 am. and before that, 2:30 am. and before that, 1:00 am. I have horrible sleeping habits… can you tell?)
13. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT THREE NIGHTS AGO?
2009: Leaving the office (my shift ends at 10:00 pm)
2012: Sleeping. I took my lovely little pink and white pill that night.
14. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
2009: It depends
2012: Censored ang answer ko dito. Lol!
15. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT TO DO?
2009: Basta (this involves violence, probably)
2012: Start the weekend! (kunwari hindi na ako violent)
16. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
2009: 21 years ago. I barely remember her.
2012: 25 years ago.
17. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
2009: My tendency to feel too much… mas madali kasi dati nung hindi ako ganun… Kahit anung mangyari, keri lang.
2012: Ang pagka-maldita ko (ay wait, change ba kamo?) But seriously… the tendency to be depressive.
18. IF YOU HAD 250,000 DOLLARS… WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
2009: Go to Europe… then hire an assassin.
2012: Buy my condo unit outright. Build books so I can have my own library. Be an assassin. (seriously, why hire someone to do it when it’s so much fun doing it yourself?)
19. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
2009: 6 years in March
2012: Long enough (standard answer yan. ‘wag makialam.)
20. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
2009: Sinong Tom?
2012: Sorry, hindi ko pa din kilala si Tom.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
2012: Lechon kawali. Luto ni Mama Inday.
23. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
2009: October. Halloween eh.
2012: October. Hindi pa kasi nagbabago ang date ng Halloween eh.
24. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
2012: December, kasi bait-baitan ang lahat ng tao. First runner-up ang February.
26. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
2009: Some girl that I don’t know… malapit na syang masama sa Assassin’s list ko. Ingat-ingat… digital ang karma.
2012: Strangely enough, wala. Masyado akong busy para makipag-away sa mga walang kwentang tao (uuy, wala daw kaaway!)
27. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
2009: Friendster (because now I know how to use it), multiply (because I’ve rediscovered my password) and Live Journal (because I have a lot of angst)
2012: WordPress (because I check how many hit I get. vain ako that way)
28. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
2009: Shelly Belly Girl
2012: Jutes (who, incidentally, was previously known as Shelly Belly Girl. Akalain mo yun?)
29. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD?
2009: Si Brian
2012: Si Brian (parang hindi nagbago, noh?)
30. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
2009: Oo naman
2012: In a heartbeat
31. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
2009: Iced cold water
2012: Ice cold water (tama na ang grammar ko this year)
32. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
2009: No.. but it’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to go
2012: No… but someday I will
33. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
2009: Wala. Patay na sya, kebs ko sa kanya? (Pero deep inside, nagsusulat na ako ng Thank You card)
2012: Wala. Hindi pa din ako affected. (Pero magpapa-party din ako. friends ko lang ang invited.)
* * *
Dude, I was so cool in 2009. And, reading through my old blog, I just realized that I have so many of these surveys. Walking down my memory lane is an awesome experience.
At, maiba lang… Bakit walang #8 ang survey na ‘to? At bakit wala din #25?
The girl sitting next to me in the FX had a paper bag. She opted to place it on top of the glove compartment (we were sitting in front). Unfortunately, the FX stopped rather abruptly, causing the bag to fall. On me.
With no apology, she picks up the paper bag and places it on the floor. Too late, girly-girl, there’s a really long white line running down my leg. I seriously wanted to snatch the paper bag away from her and use it to smack her in the face.
Then there was that whole thing in the office that made me want to hurt someone.
You know, there are days when I feel my brain processes things a little differently and a little faster than that of the average person’s.
Well, today is definitely one of those days. And it isn’t even lunch yet.