Tag Archives: Rant

Early Morning Madness

Dear Kuya na Katabi Ko sa Shuttle,

Sana maging familiar tayo sa concept of seat sharing. 

Times like this make me wish that I were like Jane (Twilight reference – desperation has gotten me to this point). Then I could simply look at you, whisper, “Pain”, and watch you writhe in agony. 

At ngayon lang kita nakita in the 4 years I’ve been taking the shuttle every morning. Ano ka, giant mushroom?

Love,

Me

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2015: Variations of Hell on Earth

There are a lot of things I can live with. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them. So can you imagine how difficult it is to perpetually be in the same breathing space as some who’s level of intelligence is in the negative? Can you understand how the level of difficulty increases when said unintelligent being is part of my group?

I used to think that maybe it’s me. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I expect too much from someone who’s been here for less than a year. I know it’s not fair to compare how I was when I was new, so I try not to (although I end up doing it anyway). But when the consistency of her inconsistencies are unparalleled, and when the simplest of things cannot be done, and when the same errors are being committed time and time again, it leads me to believe otherwise.

It’s. Not. Me.

True enough, there’s more then enough dislike talking through me right now. I’m watching Lady J take the heat for a mistake committed by TGoE. I know it’s part of her role – accountability, right? It’s a leader thing, I get it. As long as The Garden of Eden is under her supervision, it will always be her mistake, even if it’s not. But when you look at the long and sordid situation they’re in and you realize that all of it could have been avoided simply by TGoE correctly managing expectations, can you really blame me for really wanting to drown the latter in the loo?

Lady J wonders why she sticks it out with us. TGoE’s answer is the Ms. Universe response: “I really love what I’m doing.” Dude, seriously. And yet, when the question “But what if what you’re doing doesn’t love you back?” is posed to her (and it has been – many, many times), she has no response.

I’ve come to understand that this seems to be her natural response to potential conflict situations – she withdraws, stays silent, puts on her “kawawa” face (which is the most annoying thing ever), and sulks. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of hers (I have images of her very few neurons playing tag with each other – Goddess knows they have more than enough space). I wonder if it’s ever crossed her mind that she is, for most of the time, at fault? If you just base it on how she retells certain things, there was always someone else who told her the wrong thing. Or there was always someone else who misunderstood (but what she said was really correct. Like REALLY. She’s sure of it). It’s never her. It’s always someone else. Seriously, how long can someone delude themselves into always thinking this way (apparently, it’s been going on for almost 9 months and it’s still going strong!)?

I get it, you know. Her working in this kind of environment is hell for her. It’s difficult enough when you feel everything you do is wrong. It doesn’t help when every single person you work with (at least those who count) confirms this. Often times to your face. Her life in this office? This is her variation of hell.

Lady J is convinced that one day TGoE will decide to leave – not because she’s being to hard on her, not because of the fact that no one ever talks to her in the office (except for Robo-egg and Barney, but those are different stories and will be told at a different time), but because she will never be able to deliver. I, on the other hand, am firmly convinced that she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Try to look at it from a completely predatory point of view:

You get paid every fifteen days to do absolutely nothing of worth except encode random stuff which other people assign to you, mostly because they’re desperate for you to do something. But since you aren’t capable of delivering at a normal capacity, none of them will give you work that actually requires at least the smallest iota of intelligence. After all, at the end of the day, it’ll still be their necks on the line.

So you’re coasting along. No one really talks to you, save for a couple of poor souls who are, more or less, in the same boat, and it’s enough for you because at least you have “friends”. People talk to you behind your back (like literally – they sit behind you and they talk. Using not-so-soft voices) but you don’t really care. After all, work isn’t about making friends. When everyone else is loaded, you finally get assigned to a customer. And because you have all the time in the world, you spend a better half of an hour talking to them on the phone, not even considering that they might not have the same amount of time in their hands. And when you fuck up, you know that someone will always come to your rescue – because even if you know that they abhor your presence, they also have an image to uphold.

So it’s a blessed existence. You get something for doing absolutely nothing. Why on earth, would you leave?

So I’ll say it again. I don’t think she’s going to leave. If she had an ounce of pride, she would have left months ago. If she really cared about the rest of us, she would either have shaped up (because there has been more than enough time for the improvement to show) or shipped out (because her being here is actually weighing us down and we can’t look for a more suitable person because she’s still there).

But where is she? She’s still here. And honestly, I don’t see her going away anytime soon.

And this is my variation of hell.

Dark & Twisted…

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2014: Random Rantings of a Resume-Reader Part Deux

I once again find myself drowning in a deluge of CVs from hopefuls who, honestly, are not going to be given the opportunity to step within 10 feet of me. After a lot (A LOT) of laughs between me and my officemates, I thought it selfish to not share. So here we go…

Once again, in no particular order…

CV#1. Using words with more than 3 syllables does not an impressive resume make. Thank you for saying that our “recent manpower posting in (newspaper name omitted) for (position omitted) offers excellent employment opportunity in Administration.” But it doesn’t, really. I would also like to understand what these “human skills” are to which you are referring. If you have human skills, does it mean that someone people have inhuman skills? Just curious.

CV#2. I really can’t find anything wrong with your CV… but that’s probably due to the fact that I never finished reading it. The bullet points in rather small font are so boring, it made me want to get a gun and shoot myself in the head. But overall, your CV’s really good. Promise.

CV#3: I have so many things I want to say to you…

1.) “Good Day” was a good start. After that, it was all downhill from there.
2.) I love the fact that you have a dream. Keep dreaming.
3.) Given how your cover letter was written, I strongly suggest that you keep God and the gifts you believed He endowed out of it.
4.) This is not the Ms. Universe pageant. Even if you had put in “world peace”, I still wouldn’t interview you.

CV#4. I never really thought of using “prestigious” as an adjective for my company, but thank you for saying so. It must also be said that brown-nosing will not get you closer to an interview, no matter how much you may be looking forward to it.

CV#5. If I profiled you skills to suit that of an unemployed member of Philippine society, would you still be interested?

CV#6. Thank you for sending us a 16-page CV. Next time, however, please do not send us copies of the following:


* Your transcript of records from college
* Your diploma
* 9 certificates of employment
* certifications of seminars that you have attended in the past
* Your NBI clearance
* Your passport

If we wanted those, we would have asked for it in the add.

CV#7 (had to save the best for last). Do not lie in your resume. When you claim to be proficient in communication, rethink statements such as “I possess a good communication and writing skills…”. “A hand worker who is eager to learn.” is not even a statement. It is a phrase. A very wrong-sounding phrase.

***

Luck to your future endeavors. You’re going to need it.

Dark & Twisted

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23.19: Dancing Through the Fire

Universal Truth.

I have found the statements “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” and “Loving someone means giving them the right to hurt you” to be incredibly conflicting.

Especially when you happen to believe both to be true.

 

 

Dark & Twisted…

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22.13: A History Lesson

They say that life is made up of a series of lessons.  I have to agree.

When I look back at my life, I know that there were some lessons that I had to learn – which I did and I was (finally) able to move on.  Some lessons, however, are harder to figure out.  Whether this is because it’s a personality disorder on my part, a stubbornness that I cannot seem to get out of my system or simply a masochistic tendency, I do not know.

Sometimes I wonder if any of us will ever be at peace with the fact that those we love and love us loved someone else before us. I once asked someone if he regretted being with his ex (and he was with her for 4 years and it ended horribly) and he said yes.  And I had the gall to say, “Don’t.  You shouldn’t.”

Little did I know that there would come a time when him regretting it or not was not point.  The point was that I did.

True, she never did anything to me – I don’t even know her from Adam – and yet I loathe her existence. I loathe her for everything she did to him.  I abhor her for how she broke him. Most of all (and most illogically), I hate her for the simple fact that, once upon a time, he loved her.

Never mind the fact that he doesn’t love her now.  Never mind the fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  It’s that once upon a time he loved her… That once upon a time he wanted to spend his life with her.

Sometimes I wonder why I can’t leave the past well enough alone (and I have to applaud the amount of effort that I put into this, as it sometimes involves reading goddamn posts from (social network undisclosed) written a million years ago, going through horrendously long friends lists and about a bazillion photo albums containing some really badly taken – and not to mention embarrassing-if-that-were-me-I’d-rather-die-than-post-that – pictures).  I know it’s me and my perverse need to know everything… Even if I know that I’ll pay for it every single time.

This is not doubt.  Never think that it is.  I know that this is it for me.  I will never love – nor would I want to – anyone else.  I also know, however, that this is intrinsically and inexplicably wrong (the masochistic part, not the loving part).  I have come to the conclusion that it is easier for us to speak about our past because for us it is over.  But there is always that other person to think about.  The one who always hurts a little when they remember that they know what they know.  It’s not that I don’t understand that there was a past.  Sometimes I think I just wish I could erase it.

But I can’t.  I know what I know.  Against all logic, I went through what I did.  I did this.  This is my bed and now I have to lie in it.  There is absolutely no one to blame but me.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that this some baggage that I carry with me all the time.  It’s not.  But again, I know what I know.  This is me grieving. This is me trying to learn how to let go.  This is me trying to learn that one goddamn lesson that I cannot seem to learn.

I’ve always said that the worst kinds of hell are those that we make for ourselves.  And yet with that nugget of wisdom firmly lodged in my cranium, I really have to wonder, “Why on earth do I keep fucking doing it?”

And in times like these, the only sarcastic quip I can come up with to comfort myself is, “See the light at the end of the tunnel?  That’s a train heading straight for you.”

I told you I was a little crazy.

*smirk*

 

 

Dark & Twisted…

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19.13: Random Rantings of a Resume-Reader

To You. Yes, Really.

I was recently tasked to go through a not-so-big pile in resumes in hopes of finding a diamond in the rough. The objective of this particular activity was to find suitable candidates for an initial face-to-face interview. 30 minutes into it, my head began to pound (later on you will understand why). Due to an undeniable need for therapeutic release, I have decided to write about it.

Let’s begin with the end. Out of 15 CVs, my good friend AC and I ended up with (drum roll, please!)… 3. Three. Seriously. Three (I cannot get enough of saying this out loud).

Some time between CV #3 and #15, I was making mental notes of what I wanted to say to these people. Since I now know that I will (thankfully) never get to meet around 80% of them, I will write it down instead.

Here goes (in no particular order)

CV #1: You’re overqualified. We’re afraid that you’re going to bore people to death when you talk. No, seriously, you’re overqualified. Take that as a good thing.

CV #2: It was very nice of you to share that you are currently processing your papers for possible employment out of the country. I would, however, rethink this as it only made me wonder if you were planning to flee the RP any time soon. Also, it is best, when sending a horrendously long CV, to have all pages formatted as short or long, not a combination of both.

CV #3: You are very intelligent – your background and extensive career certainly speaks for you. You are, unfortunately, also very old (and when I say old, I mean OLD). I am concerned that you might suddenly keel over and die during class.

CV #4: To be honest, you actually made it to the “maybe” pile. I applaud the very courageous decision to shift from the automotive industry to that of the BPO. I have no doubt that you are very good at what you do right now. However, further screening of your application moved you from the “maybe” pile to the “no” pile. Also, it would be best, when updating your work history, to begin with your most recent employer, not the one you were with two decades ago.

CV #5: Please do not write your cover letter using size-20 font. I may be visually impaired, but I am not blind. Size 12 would have done just fine. Some tips for future endeavors…

1.) When applying for a position, please decide what position you’re actually applying for. This is not the lottery. More entries does not mean more chances of winning.

2.) Do not rely so heavily on MS Word’s spell and grammar check. You may spell all the words correctly, but it does not mean that you make sense. And even if you have skills for running something efficiently and have outgoing personality and professionalism in creating a calm and friendly work environment, I highly doubt that you will be the best asset for my organization.

3.) When you have attached something to an email, it has already been done. Therefore, it should be in the past tense. It’s the tense wherein you put a -d or -ed after the verb. Unless it’s irregular, of course.

CV #6: Bata ka pa. Marami ka pang bigas na kakainin. Next time nalang.

CV #7: It is normally good practice to include tasks and responsibilities for your employment history. Don’t just put the company, your position and how long you were there. Malay ko ba kung ano ginagawa mo dun. I will, however, admit to being in awe of your ability to put a full-body picture in your resume.

CV #8: When listing down tasks and responsibilities of previous and present jobs, please do not write in paragraph form. There are things called bullets. Use it.

CV #9: The position you are applying for is that of a Training Consultant. Please do not write “Application For: Hostes, Receptionist, Captain, F&B” on your resume.

CV #10: (background omitted) ka. Hindi namin kelangan ng (position connected to background omitted). Sana i-check ang qualifications bago mag-apply.

CV #11: Maganda sana ang resume mo… sana yun ang kelangan namin. Isa ka pa – check qualifications before applying. Please? Ako na nagmamakaawa.

CV #12: There are no words. Like seriously. Because of you, I posted “Bakit ang daming galit sa subject-verb agreement and tenses? Maawa naman kayo sa nagbabasa sa sinulat nyo.” on facebook.

*          *          *

So… Three.

Here’s to hoping.

 

 

Dark & Twisted…

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15.13: Tell Me What You Read and I’ll Tell You Who You Are

“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”

I didn’t say this, Stephen King did. I nearly fell off my chair from laughing when I did because I agreed with him SO MUCH. Don’t get me wrong. I read all four books of twilight, just like I did all seven Harry Potter books. I think the biggest difference for me what that I found so much significance in Harry’s life while I just kept praying for Bella to die.

Die, Bella. DIE!!! Sorry, I’ve been dying to say that for the longest time (yes, pun intended).

 

 

Dark & Twisted…

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