08 in ’12: Self Love

For all those who doubt… Always remember that you’re worth it =)

* * *

I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else
hey

[Verse 1]
You made me insecure,
Told me I wasn’t good enough.
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough?
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself.
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C’mon

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’?
Trust me, that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

[Verse 2:]
It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you
You tell ‘em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth
It’s like a work of art
That never gets to see the light
Keep you beneath the stars
Won’t let you touch the sky

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C’mon

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’?
Trust me, that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

[Bridge:]
Who says you’re not star potential?
Who says you’re not presidential?
Who says you can’t be in movies?
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don’t pass the test?
Who says you can’t be the best?
Who said, who said?
Won’t you tell me who said that?
Yeah, who said?

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you’re not perfect? (Yeah)
Who says you’re not worth it? (Yeah yeah)
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’? (Ooooh)
Trust me, that’s the price of beauty (Hey yeah, beauty)
Who says you’re not pretty? (Who said?)
Who says you’re not beautiful? (I’m just beautiful me)
Who says?

Who says, Who says, you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’?

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’?
Trust me, that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty?
Who says you’re not beautiful?
Who says?

Who says you’re not perfect?
Who says you’re not worth it?
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurtin’?
Trust me, (yeah) that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty? (Who says you’re not beautiful?)
Who says?

“Who Says”
Selena Gomez

* * *

And the Universe said unto me…

It’s like you’re a fabulously complicated jigsaw puzzle piece, PhoenixFire, with stunning colors, wildly serrated edges, oceans of emotion, mountains of possibilities, worlds of talent, and complex energies, but for as long as you see yourself as just human, you’ll never quite know where you fit in.

Just say “No” -
The Universe

* * *

Dear Universe,

I know.  I am the One.

Color Me Fabulous,
PhoenixFire

Ciao Bella!

07 in ’12: Starting

Today, I am filled with sadness.

I wish I knew the reason behind it, but I do not. All I know is that it’s something that’s been hanging over my head and last night was relatively sleepless because of it.

But I have never been one to wallow in the woes of my life – I think I stopped doing that the day I decided I will no longer hide behind my parents’ death. So let’s talk about something else in my life. Soon, I know my sorrow will pass.

So anyway.

As you all know, I follow several blogs too – finding inspiration from it, and, at times, using it as a springboard for my own entries. I was reading a post from The Positivity Blog (to read it too, click here) and I suddenly realized how simple and true the first tip was.

* * *

Tip #1: The secret of getting ahead…

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

This is a very good tip and one of the best ones I have ever discovered and used to handle procrastination.

When you start to look too far into the future any task or project can seem close to impossible. And so you shut down because you become overwhelmed or fearful (of success or failure) and start surfing the internet aimlessly instead.

So instead, break that task into small and practical steps.

Then just focus on taking the first step today. That is all you need to focus on, nothing else. By taking the first step you change your mental state from resistant to “hey, I’m doing this, cool”. You put yourself in state where you become more positive and open, a state where you may not be enthusiastic about taking the next step after this first one but you are at least accepting it.

And so you can take the next step. And the next one after that.

Until you have arrived at your destination and completion.

* * *

Since my early twenties, I have perpetually been in the state of trying to lose weight. I’m always “trying” because I never actually lost all the weight I wanted to lose. In the many, many years that I have been “trying”, I have come to realize that nothing really beats hard work and a healthy diet.

I have also come to realize that there is no denying that I am an extremely impatient person. When I do something, I want the results to be immediate. Admittedly, has led to countless discontinued diets or workouts. Every single day, after doing something relatively strenuous, I cannot resist stepping on a scale and checking my weight. And then when I see that my weight has not changed, I lose interest because I feel it is not effective. Did I ever consider the fact that it might be too soon to see the difference? No. That’s how impatient I am.

Last year, I decided to start running. Or, to be more accurate, Brian finally convinced me to join him during his runs. So I did – I mean, I whined, bitched and complained along the way, but I still did it. In October of 2010, I ran 12 times and was able to cover a total distance of 48.2k. For a beginner, I was rather disciplined – I never let more than 3 days pass without running again.

Then October ended.

The following month, despite being able to run longer distances, I only covered a total distance of 11.1k. That was because I only ran twice in November – once on the 8th and then again on the 16th. And then I got really “busy” (lazy) and started justifying (making up excuses) why I wasn’t running as much as I used to.

The the time I decided to run again, it was December 30th. During the last 2 days of the year, I desperately tried to reach 5k on a single run, but I had let myself go and just couldn’t get back to it.

At this point, you might be wondering why I keep talking about running and losing weight when I started out with Mark Twain. The thing is, I realized two very important things towards the end of last year.

First, that I was running for the wrong reason. I ran because I wanted to lose weight. It was exactly the same way when I was going to the gym – I kept working out because I wanted to get thinner. And when I did, I couldn’t bring myself to continue working out. At one point, I read somewhere that if you’re going to run, don’t run for weight loss. Run for fitness, because fitness is a lifestyle. I totally get that now.

Second, I took on too much, too soon. Sometimes, I really have to take things one step at a time. When you take on too much, everything becomes overwhelming. It starts to look daunting, which leads you to question your ability to do it. And there starts your downward spiral to despair. I’ve been there many, many times and I’m telling you, it’s not somewhere you would want to be.

Now I honestly want to say that I’m running for fitness, but I can’t. I’m not sure if I’m there yet. But I do know I’m on my way.

I used fatigue from work as one of the more common excuses for not running. I get home at past 7 o’clock in the evening on a normal work day. When I get home, the only thing I can bring myself to do is collapse on my bed. After explaining this to him for the hundredth time, Brian told me to put on my shoes and take a walk anyway. “If after 5 minutes, you still feel tired, that means your body’s really not up to it. Go home and rest.”

These days, I begin every run with that thought in mind: “Five minutes”. For the last couple of times, by the time five minutes have passed, I realized that I’ve been running for the last two.

At the end of the day, it really is about the little things. It really is about the first step.

If you want to become someone… If you want to do something… The first thing you have to do is Start.

Ciao Bella!

06 in ’12: Kindness

It was a brief little note,
Or a word that was prayerfully spoken,
Yet not in vain, for it soothed the pain,
Of a heart that was nearly broken.
- Anon.

I was in my senior year in high school, I think, when I first heard this – “kindness is loving someone more than they deserve.” It was our head teacher who said that, a woman who was married to the man who was the head teacher for so many years in the past. It also happened that he (the husband) was one of the most well-loved professors in the school. She, on the other hand, was a little more serious, a little more reserved, a little bit stricter, and a little less liked.

She taught fourth-year physics, at which I was horrible. Why? I don’t know. It just never clicked for me the way geometry and chemistry did. Needless to say, I was not a fan. But when I heard her say that during one of the last senior assemblies before graduation, I nearly burst our crying.

It’s been 14 years And I’ve never forgotten.

* * *

I would love to be able to say that I religiously read Our Daily Bread, but I can’t. For so many reasons. But I do try to glance at my copy every once in a while and today’s entry spoke to me so much that I just had to share it.

Love Letters

To “walk in love’ means that we continually do the little acts of kindness that can make life bearable and better for another person.

One practical way to express one’s love costs only the price of a postage stamp – plus paper, ink, and a little thought.

All of us have del the nudge to write a letter – an unexpected note that could brighten another person’s day. Perhaps it is a note of appreciation, an expression of concern, or compliment for a task well done. Too often the letter goes unwritten and the impulse in unexpressed. We convince ourselves that we don’t have time, or that our letter won’t matter.

A young minister cherished a note he received rom a busy architect in his congregation. The letter said simply, “Your sermon met me where I was on Sunday – at the crossroads of confusion and hurt. Thanks for preaching it!” Those words met the pastor where he lived – at the intersection of discouragement and pain – and encouraged him to keep on in the ministry. The note took less than 5 minutes to write.

Can you think of someone who needs encouragement, thanks, or a reminder that you are praying for him or her? “Walk in love” to the mailbox today.

- Haddon Robinson

* * *

So if you’re reading these words – regardless if you have my blog bookmarked or you just happened to click on something that led you here, I want to say thank you. And for those who have stood by me through days of depression, weeks of insecurity, months of sorrow, years of doubt, and a lifetime of joy… Thank you for being very, very kind to me.

Ciao Bella!