Tag Archives: Bitchiness

2015: Variations of Hell on Earth

There are a lot of things I can live with. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them. So can you imagine how difficult it is to perpetually be in the same breathing space as some who’s level of intelligence is in the negative? Can you understand how the level of difficulty increases when said unintelligent being is part of my group?

I used to think that maybe it’s me. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I expect too much from someone who’s been here for less than a year. I know it’s not fair to compare how I was when I was new, so I try not to (although I end up doing it anyway). But when the consistency of her inconsistencies are unparalleled, and when the simplest of things cannot be done, and when the same errors are being committed time and time again, it leads me to believe otherwise.

It’s. Not. Me.

True enough, there’s more then enough dislike talking through me right now. I’m watching Lady J take the heat for a mistake committed by TGoE. I know it’s part of her role – accountability, right? It’s a leader thing, I get it. As long as The Garden of Eden is under her supervision, it will always be her mistake, even if it’s not. But when you look at the long and sordid situation they’re in and you realize that all of it could have been avoided simply by TGoE correctly managing expectations, can you really blame me for really wanting to drown the latter in the loo?

Lady J wonders why she sticks it out with us. TGoE’s answer is the Ms. Universe response: “I really love what I’m doing.” Dude, seriously. And yet, when the question “But what if what you’re doing doesn’t love you back?” is posed to her (and it has been – many, many times), she has no response.

I’ve come to understand that this seems to be her natural response to potential conflict situations – she withdraws, stays silent, puts on her “kawawa” face (which is the most annoying thing ever), and sulks. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of hers (I have images of her very few neurons playing tag with each other – Goddess knows they have more than enough space). I wonder if it’s ever crossed her mind that she is, for most of the time, at fault? If you just base it on how she retells certain things, there was always someone else who told her the wrong thing. Or there was always someone else who misunderstood (but what she said was really correct. Like REALLY. She’s sure of it). It’s never her. It’s always someone else. Seriously, how long can someone delude themselves into always thinking this way (apparently, it’s been going on for almost 9 months and it’s still going strong!)?

I get it, you know. Her working in this kind of environment is hell for her. It’s difficult enough when you feel everything you do is wrong. It doesn’t help when every single person you work with (at least those who count) confirms this. Often times to your face. Her life in this office? This is her variation of hell.

Lady J is convinced that one day TGoE will decide to leave – not because she’s being to hard on her, not because of the fact that no one ever talks to her in the office (except for Robo-egg and Barney, but those are different stories and will be told at a different time), but because she will never be able to deliver. I, on the other hand, am firmly convinced that she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Try to look at it from a completely predatory point of view:

You get paid every fifteen days to do absolutely nothing of worth except encode random stuff which other people assign to you, mostly because they’re desperate for you to do something. But since you aren’t capable of delivering at a normal capacity, none of them will give you work that actually requires at least the smallest iota of intelligence. After all, at the end of the day, it’ll still be their necks on the line.

So you’re coasting along. No one really talks to you, save for a couple of poor souls who are, more or less, in the same boat, and it’s enough for you because at least you have “friends”. People talk to you behind your back (like literally – they sit behind you and they talk. Using not-so-soft voices) but you don’t really care. After all, work isn’t about making friends. When everyone else is loaded, you finally get assigned to a customer. And because you have all the time in the world, you spend a better half of an hour talking to them on the phone, not even considering that they might not have the same amount of time in their hands. And when you fuck up, you know that someone will always come to your rescue – because even if you know that they abhor your presence, they also have an image to uphold.

So it’s a blessed existence. You get something for doing absolutely nothing. Why on earth, would you leave?

So I’ll say it again. I don’t think she’s going to leave. If she had an ounce of pride, she would have left months ago. If she really cared about the rest of us, she would either have shaped up (because there has been more than enough time for the improvement to show) or shipped out (because her being here is actually weighing us down and we can’t look for a more suitable person because she’s still there).

But where is she? She’s still here. And honestly, I don’t see her going away anytime soon.

And this is my variation of hell.

Dark & Twisted…

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Filed under Secret Life of Bees, Stories from the Garden of Eden

2015: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

I took a book out of my husband’s book: Tell the truth and let the pieces fall where they may.

When you get called into a close-door meeting because a colleague has issues with you, it definitely puts one in a mood. Today was one of those days.

So we have our Monday meeting. It started well enough – I had finished all the required reports last night and was able to send it over so I knew there was a possibility of us discussing it first thing this week. The meeting ran for about an hour an a half, after which P and I went back to our lives. About twenty minutes later, Lady J comes back out and says we need to have a talk with The Garden of Eden because she has issues with the both of us.

So D-Day finally arrived (I had been anticipating this since our episode last Saturday).

She started with P, and no matter how much I want to describe that in detail, it really isn’t my story to tell. So I’ll stick with mine (and because mine was waaaaaaay more intense). So she says, “You said last Saturday this relationship was not an easy one. I wanted to clarify what made you say that.”

Talk about flinging the door wide open.

Me, being the bitch that I am, the first statement out of my mouth was, “What I said was I know this relationship has been difficult.” And so the long and arduous conversation began…

Highlights:

Me: You know me. I don’t need to be friends with people I work with. You want to ask me right now if we’re friends? We’re not. I don’t need to be friends with you. I just need you to do your job.

* * *

Me: Remember <client name omitted>? You sent me the report at 11 PM. I came in at 7 AM to edit it because I didn’t get a chance to see it before that. You knew the meeting was at 9:30 am on the same day. I get it that you need help – but sana naisip mo din na may iba akong ginagawa. Wala kang konsiderasyon.

Me: You send me the report on a Thursday night, then you go on leave. I get it – it’s a credit leave, by all means take it, I don’t care. But then again, kahit pinaghirapan kong basahin yun hanggang hating gabi, paano ko sya ibabalik sayo e wala ka? Tapos presentation sa Monday?

* * *

GoE: (not verbatim) After the Baguio thing, I really thought everything was okay…
Me: Going on an out of town trip with me for four days does not make us friends.

* * *

GoE: (not verbatim) I was really affected when I gave you a gift on your birthday. And I know you said thank you. But after that you just kinda looked at the gift from the side and you didn’t even look at me. I felt snubbed. Feeling ko napahiya ako – especially since everyone was at the table.
Me: What kind of reaction were you expecting? (I am seriously bewildered by this.)
GoE: At least sana tumingin ka man lang sa akin.
Me: Well, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. But if you ask me if I could relive the moment – would I react differently? No, I wouldn’t.

* * *

GoE: Sometimes I feel that when I make a mistake, it gets magnified. But pag kayo kayo lang, napagtatakpan.
Me: Okay – tell me about a time when this happened.
GoE: (goes off into a long explanation)
Me: So that’s an example of how when you make a mistake, it gets magnified. What about the other part?
GoE: It’s just a general feeling that I have…

* * *

GoE: (not verbatim) When you talked to me about , you said you had talked to <colleague’s name omitted>. Hindi na ako nakapalag dun kasi feeling ko hindi naman ako pakikinggan. You chose to believe <colleague’s name omitted> even if I was also there.
Me: You know why? I think there is something fundamentally wrong with our relationship. I don’t trust you. I seriously question your judgement. And you have absolutely no credibility in my eyes whatsoever.

* * *

GoE: (not verbatim) I really am trying…
Me: It makes me wonder… is done. Four of your five accounts are dead. You have no sales and no runs. What’s going to happen to you now?

* * *

Me: I’m tired. I’m tired and frustrated. It’s been six months. It took you four months to learn a 3-day program – and that’s not even to its completion. How on earth with you survive the coming days?

* * *

Me: Did you ever tell people that every time you become close to another consultant, I do something to make the closeness go away?
GoE: (semi-horrified look) I never said anything like that…
Me: The thing is, you can say that I’m a slave driver. I know I make you do a lot of things. I know I’m horribly strict when it comes to the reviews. And if you say all of these things, it’s okay because it’s true. But when I heard about that, honestly, it kinda affected me – because then it became… personal.
GoE: (not verbatim) I apologize for that.
Me: At this point it’s irrelevant.

* * *

Me: You know when it really started to bother me? When I ran a hundred hours in May, <consultant’s name omitted> ran 84, I hardly ever saw <consultant’s name omitted>, <consultant’s name omitted> got shipped off to . Even <consultant’s name omitted> went on medical leave. EVERYONE was busy. Except you.

* * *

GoE: Is it a dead end for me?
Me: What do you mean by that?
GoE: Is it a dead end? In your opinion.
Me: When you say dead end, what you do mean? Are you asking me if I’ll ever trust you again? Are you asking if I’ll ever see you as credible? What?

* * *

GoE: Do you accept my apology?
Me: (split-second hesitation) Yes. But it won’t be clean slate. I will never forget.

* * *

This day. I love this day.

Dark & Twisted…

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2014: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

Oh, I never done this before
Never wanna do this again
Wrong turn on a dusty road
I did it to myself, I can’t pretend
Well, I learned just a little too late
Good God, I must’ve been blind
‘Cause she got me for everything, everything, everything, alright

Like my daddy I’m a gambling man
Never been afraid to roll the dice
But when I put my bet on her
Little Miss Snake eyes ruined my life
She better sleep with one eye open
Better make sure to lock her doors
‘Cause once I get my hands on her, Imma oh

Natalie ‒ she ran away with all my money
And she did it for fun
Natalie ‒ she’s probably out there thinking it’s funny
Telling everyone
Well, I’m digging a ditch
For this gold-digging bitch
Watch out ‒ she’s quick
Look out for a pretty little thing named
Natalie ‒ if you see her tell her I’m coming
She better run

The good lord better bless your soul
‘Cause I done already cursed your name
Don’t matter which way you go
Payback’s gonna come your way
You’ll be begging me, please, please, please
And now I look at you and laugh, laugh, laugh
While you sit there and cry for me, cry for me, cry for me all night

I spend a lifetime in jail (yeah, that’s what I’ll do)
I’ll be smiling in my cell (yeah, thinking bout you)
Can’t nobody save you now
So there ain’t no use in trying
Once I get my hands on you, Imma oh

Natalie ‒ she ran away with all my money
And she did it for fun
Natalie ‒ she’s probably out there thinking it’s funny
Telling everyone
Well, I’m digging a ditch
For this gold-digging bitch
Watch out ‒ she’s quick
Look out for a pretty little thing named
Natalie ‒ if you see her tell her I’m coming
She better run

I should’ve known better (I should’ve known better)
‘Cause when we were together (‘Cause when we were together)
She never said forever (She never said forever)
I’m a fool that played her game, hey

Natalie ‒ she ran away with all my money
And she did it for fun
Natalie ‒ she’s probably out there thinking it’s funny
Telling everyone
Well, I’m digging a ditch
For this gold-digging bitch
Watch out ‒ she’s quick
Look out for a pretty little thing named
Natalie ‒ if you see her tell her I’m coming
She better run

“Natalie”
Bruno Mars
*video by Walk Off the Earth*

***

Feel free to stab yourself if you feel like it. *smirk*

Dark & Twisted

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41 in ’12: Intolerant

I don’t have a lot of friends.

To begin with, I’m not exactly what you would call a social person. In a wedding I recently attended, I realized just how socially retarded I was when in close proximity with people I don’t really like. But my intolerance isn’t limited to certain people’s physical presence. I am most unfriendly when I am on the phone. With people who take delivery orders (or, in this case, REFUSES to take delivery orders).

I have a friend who recently asked for advice on how to go about impressing one of my exes for a possible job, I told him, “Alam mo naman kami ni (my ex’s name), pag nakaamoy kami ng takot, nangangain kami ng buhay.” (Translation: When we smell fear, we go for the kill).

And that is nothing but the truth. When you start talking like a blundering idiot on the phone, I smell blood and I go for the jugular.

Today, while talking to an idiot working for Army Navy, it was no different.

Yes, This Means YOU.

*          *          *

(phone conversation)

Idiot:
Thank you for calling Army Navy, may I have your order, please?

Me:
Magpapadeliver. Sa Pasig.

Idiot:
Saan po sa Pasig, ma’am?

Me:
Sa may Caniogan. Riverfront Residences. Nakapagdeliver na kayo dito dati.

Idiot:
(speaking to someone in the background)
Sa may Caniogan daw. Diba malayo na yun?

(back on the phone)
Ma’am, saan po malapit yung sa inyo? Ano po yung landmark?

Me:
Sa may Dr. Sixto Antonio Avenue.

Idiot:
Ano po yung landmark, ma’am?

Me:
Malapit kami sa Pasig rotonda.

Idiot:
(speaking to someone in the background)
Sa may Pasig rotonda daw!

(back on the phone)
Ma,am, mahaba po kasi yung Dr. Sixto Antonio Avenue. Saan po banda dun?

Me:
Malapit kami sa Pag-Asa. Sa Riverfront Residences.

Idiot:
(speaking to someone in the background)
Sa may Pag-Asa daw. Malayo na yun! Lagpas na ng Stella yun eh.

(back on the phone)

Ay, ma’am. Hindi na po namin cover yan eh. Malayo na po sa amin yan.

Me:
Nakapagdeliver na kayo dito sa amin dati eh.

Idiot:
Malayo na po kasi yan, ma’am. Hindi po kami nagdedeliver yan.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 1)
Pero nakapagdeliver na kayo dito sa amin dati. So bakit ngayon hindi na pwede?

Idiot:
Cut-off na po. Hanggang 8 lang po ang delivery namin.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 2)
But it’s only 7:45 pm.

Idiot:
Oo nga po. Pero hanggang 8 lang po ang delivery namin.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 4)
Oo nga, pero wala pang 8. So hindi na kayo magdedeliver dito ever?

Idiot:
Anung last name po?

Me:
Barron. The account is under Brian Barron.

Idiot:
Last name lang po.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 6)
Barron. B-A-R-R-O-N. Sya kasi madalas ang tumatawag jan.

Idiot:
Ma’am, hindi na po namin kayo covered eh. And wala po yung pangalan nyo sa records namin.

Me:
(Aggitiation Level: 7)
Can’t you look for it using a phone number?

Idiot:
Ma’am, last name lang po.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 9)
Oo nga, pero hindi ba pwedeng gamitin yung phone number para hanapin?

Idiot:
Sira po kasi yung database namin eh. And wala na po kayo sa —

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 10)
(cutting her off)
You know what, never mind! NEVER. MIND.

(line is cut)

*          *          *

Friggin’ idiot.

Yes, This Also Means YOU.

It seems like I’ve been doing nothing the whole day but sleep, munch on whatever food I could find, and fight with people. Earlier today, I was exchanged text messages with some person who I didn’t know.

*          *          *

+632 916 773 0103
hi maam

Me:
Who’s this please?

+632 916 773 0103
Marco

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 2)
Sorry, but I don’t remember where we met.

+632 916 773 0103
We met in fb.

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 4)
I doubt that.

+632 916 773 0103
Ur name is angel ryt?

Me:
(Aggitation Level: 8)
First, I don’t add people I don’t know in fb. Second, I don’t answer messages from people I don’t know in fb. And third, fb is not a place to “meet” people.

I don’t know you. Your number’s not in my directory. Stop texting.

+632 916 773 0103
Taray! Ok. Tnx! Ikaw nawalan, hndi ako.

*          *          *

Dear +632 916 773 0103,

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Love,
Me

P.S. You’re an idiot.

 

*smirk*



Ciao Bella!

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Filed under Tastebuds, This So-Called Life

34 in ’12: Weary

One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet, Phoenixfire, other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time), is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they’ve done for them nor how great their love.

Yeah, WOW.
The Universe

***

Dear Universe,

I hear you.

Let everything I do, I do out of love, right?

Even if they don’t love me back.

Bringing on the Heartbreak,
Phoenixfire



Blessed Be…

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Filed under This So-Called Life

10 in ’12: Plan


Dear You,


There is a reason, you know, why we block off schedules weeks in advance.

 

So this whole thing that you’re trying to cram by Friday? I want to say that it’s my problem too…

 

But it’s really not.

*smirk*

 

Love,
Me



Ciao Bella!

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Devolution (85/365)

There are days when I just want to screw the world over.

Today is one of those days.

In all honesty, the only thing stopping me is this thought: “If it had happened to someone else, would I care as much?”

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